Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for December 30, 2023

Speaking of different points of view….

Ah, yes, ketchup and Velveeta on flatbread followed by “Lisa’s Story: The Movie” and Chapter Four of “The Phantom Empire.” It’s a good life.

Note, by the way, that Pmmm said “runs,” not “owns.” Masonne Jarre is the proprietor of the Valentine, and Mopey and the PBM are the legal Montoni’s business partners, so your future mooching opportunities may be limited.

Also, who’s the random stranger you’re talking to in the booth?

What’s Pam’s angle here? Why does she look like she’s ready to have a panic attack in Panel 1, and then she’s throwing a snide sideways glance in Panel 3? How does that correlate with the dialogue? Jff’s right. They are blessed. They run businesses which have previously failed and here they seem to not suffer any financial hardship for it. What’s her problem?

“One of our children runs a vintage movie theater…(PAINFULLY LONG PAUSE)…and the other a pizza diarrhea!” (hoists glass of oddly brown Montoni’s tap water) “We’re ble—” [Actually, that’s it, just 14 more panels of Jeff staring at the brown water while smirking ensues]

Minnie the Moocher.

“Twice-failed theater that shows only the same 2 movies, and a pizzeria that went out of business!” That’s a pretty narrowly defined version of “blessed.”

“Bless-ed Fools, more like!” —Pmmm

“…And we have a grandson that ages from a toddler to an 8 year old then back to an infant.”

Jeff: “That’s what all those older southern women say to me! ‘BLESS YOUR HEART!!’ Gosh, I must be swell!”

When you retire, the kids can always hire you. At least you won’t have to drive a bus.

Have either of them noticed that Mindy is doing ALL the work?

And my father in law who belongs in a home drives a school bus so blessed

A threat to humanity!

Crankshaft keeps trying to horn into the story.

Yes, you are. Free food and movie tickets.

Nothing says “blessed” like running high overhead businesses that can easily be replaced by a microwave and DVD player.

Blessed? Your son and daughter-in-law operate a movie theater that went out of business a couple of years ago and only survives as a vanity project for a bipolar actor. Your daughter is engaged to a guy who works in a dying industry, owns a pizza parlor that closed last year, and probably knows nothing whatsoever about running a business. Unless you mean “blessed” in an ironic sense, you’re an idiot!

What is her point? Is she happy for her children? Why is she telling Crankshaft? As if Ed doesn’t know.

If this Montoni’s story arc continues past today, we are ̶b̶l̶e̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ cursed.

Is Pam disappointed that the kids don’t have glamorous careers?

cat got crankshafts tongue

so go buy the bowling alley annoying woman

Not bad at all…..

Is she complaining? If so, at least the father has a good head on his shoulders.

Krankus is not smiling in panel three. He’s in the early stages of rigor mortis.

He’s feeling kinda stiff…

Why does Crankshaft think he’s Les

You all know these are not real people, right?

So managing a one-screen movie theater is something super admirable? It probably pays poorly and isn’t much different than managing a bowling alley or gas station. And you wouldn’t brag about those. (Not that I’m denigrating those jobs, just saying it isn’t the epitome of human achievement.)

Perhaps the weirdest thing about Montoni’s is that I cannot recall (on those relatively rare occasions when people are actually depicted as eating pizza in the place, rather than just hanging out at the counter chatting and drinking coffee) any style of pizza other than thin-crust with pale yellow cheese substance and round reddish objects on top. No thick crust. No sausage. No veggie. No “garbage” (everything). Just thin-crust yellowish-stuff with reddish circles. Evidently people in Worstview/Centerville are pretty un-adventurous.

Man,you guys have no respect.

And they all live at home…

Durned right they’re blessed. Easy access to classic movies in a classic movie theater AND easy access to pizza, they’ve got it made.

Don’t forget to put Al Martino on the jikebox

Haha! (＾▽＾)