Close to Home by John McPherson for February 04, 2024

Doug doesn’t use a card; he left through the bathroom window.

she sets a pretty low bar

And what do you think Doug is writing in the men’s room?

Couldn’t tell that last one…warts, but it could have started with “F”.

And He is in the restroom grading you and it dose not look good you better hope he grades on a curve

Doesn’t look like he did very well.

This is from 2018, so John and Bleeb must be taking some time off. They’re not fixin’ stuff around my house, ‘cause nothin’ needs fixin… so they have to be vacationing.

Maybe some favorite vacation places where it’s warm, like Florida… Hawaii… Northern Africa.

I’m thinking she wants “N” for everything except #2. Looks like Doug is NOT getting a second date (unless she is willing to settle or has had REALLY bad dates and he looks good by comparison.

He had a list also, but it was much shorter. Female: check. Willing: check. OKAY!

She ain’t no sleeping beauty herself. He’s making out his own score card in the rest room.

Doug may not be getting any extra credit

You ain’t exactly a trip to the beach yourself there Wanda baby!

Forget the dang list; do you get along with the guy?!

Maybe he’s filling out his own and not coming back, Wanda.

You can see the top of the W, not an F.

Warts?

With great embarrassment, I confess I did something similar in high school with some of my female classmates although it was more related to physical attributes. Thankfully, I grew out of it.

Too much analyzing. This one is just plain funny!!!!

Looking over that scorecard I’m wondering why she isn’t running towards the exit?

Wanda. Wanda. Mustache..Won’t stop talking..Wears a bibb..Can’t tell..4 Oz. Of cheap perfume..Hair covers ears..Has nose ring..Recent freezer marks from warts …Next

If he’s not dumb, Doug just walked out the door and lift you with the bill…..

Pays for Dinner?

Doesn’t look promising for good ol’ Doug.

Oooohh, checking all the right boxes I see!

That’s her "check"ing account.

Doug’s checklist

Gaudy earrings Y

Dyes hair Y

Botox Y

Glasses Y

Large thumbs Y

Overly critical Y

Constantly stares at my nose and ears Y

Frequently wrinkles nose Y

Breathing Y

Losers can’t be choosers…

…maybe now would be a good time to ditch ’im??

No need for a checkmark for farts. Everybody farts. The difference is with the aroma and noise level, but everybody does it. I am an expert on this subject.

Wanda, ditch Doug for the waiter. At least you know he’s employed and his looks compare to yours.