Yes. I was a battered wife twice, and girlfriend once. Hubby won’t even raise a hand in anger. Now, he doesn’t get angry at me. He’s a mellow gentleman.
I guess everyone can say they had at least one bad boyfriend or husband. I always seemed to choose ones that were unattainable for some reason. One of the first was gay but it was in the 70’s when these things weren’t talked about so no one knew it.
If a man can be likened to a stinky cigar, then a woman can be described as a cigarette. Both blow smoke that can sicken you. (The song is by Victor Herbert, the original words by Rudyard Kipling.)
@FreyjaRN- I feel you and although I’m a man, men who hit women are cowards! BUT, oftentimes (not saying you did), women do not take into account and will hardly ever admit to the things that THEY say or do to trip that man’s wire! And verbal abuse is just as toxic and sometimes even deadly as physical abuse! Long story short, my daughter’s mother had done some real grimy stuff and I had to say TOODLE-OO! But I took up martial arts because #1, I had just gotten employed by NYC School Safety. And #2, I needed an emotional release. But I think that one thing we both learned, that jerks come in both sexes! LOL!! Have a blessed!
I met my wife at a high school dance in 1965. By the third date, I knew she was the one. Nailed it the first time!
This is why I believe in God. It had to be divine intervention. At age 16, I seldom made good decisions.
I am very fortunate. I seem to have been given the gift to see beyond the glitter, confetti and smoke and mirrors under which people are obscured or actively hide. I can be fooled, but not for long. I can trust. I’ve been burned a few times, but I could stand the losses. When I win, however, I win BIG.
I avoided jerks like the plague. I did once date a guy — mainly because he was drop-dead gorgeous — who suddenly lost it and screamed at me over nothing, and that was the end of him. He called the next day and swore it would never happen again, but I had seen who he was. No way would I give him a second chance.
I don’t understand women who can’t quickly judge an abusive jerk. Guys always show us who they are, and like Maya Angelou says, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Also: Watch the way he treats a waitress, especially in a not-expensive restaurant. Listen to how he talks about his mother and sisters and old girlfriends, his female teachers, his female co-workers (and especially if he has a female boss). That is how he will be talking about you.
Especially listen if he talks bad about your female friends or relatives, trying to isolate you. Listen if he makes little negative comments about your appearance or actions, maybe “jokingly” calling you stupid or inferring you are incompetent, trying to destroy your confidence and make you feel worthless. Listen if he gets upset because you said hello to a male friend on the street. Oh, heck, I could go on and on. Just listen.
Both paws frantically waving in the air. When hubby died, his best friend told me I would get married again. Why the hockey sticks would I do something that stupid again???? Was my answer.
FreyjaRN Premium Member 5 months ago
Yes. I was a battered wife twice, and girlfriend once. Hubby won’t even raise a hand in anger. Now, he doesn’t get angry at me. He’s a mellow gentleman.
blunebottle 5 months ago
Yes, but in my case it was the other way around.
Macushlalondra 5 months ago
I guess everyone can say they had at least one bad boyfriend or husband. I always seemed to choose ones that were unattainable for some reason. One of the first was gay but it was in the 70’s when these things weren’t talked about so no one knew it.
Troglodyte 5 months ago
Don’t have this particular problem in the way you’ve stated it, Aunty…so, no.
PraiseofFolly 5 months ago
If a man can be likened to a stinky cigar, then a woman can be described as a cigarette. Both blow smoke that can sicken you. (The song is by Victor Herbert, the original words by Rudyard Kipling.)
https://m.youtube.Com/watch?v=LzCR_N3bC0g
M209T 5 months ago
Ouch. Too close to home!
RI Red Hen 5 months ago
Husband went to hit one time, and told him, “Don’t forget, you DO have to sleep at night!” Didn’t touch me, and he wasn’t here long!
djtenltd 5 months ago
@FreyjaRN- I feel you and although I’m a man, men who hit women are cowards! BUT, oftentimes (not saying you did), women do not take into account and will hardly ever admit to the things that THEY say or do to trip that man’s wire! And verbal abuse is just as toxic and sometimes even deadly as physical abuse! Long story short, my daughter’s mother had done some real grimy stuff and I had to say TOODLE-OO! But I took up martial arts because #1, I had just gotten employed by NYC School Safety. And #2, I needed an emotional release. But I think that one thing we both learned, that jerks come in both sexes! LOL!! Have a blessed!
dflak 5 months ago
I met my wife at a high school dance in 1965. By the third date, I knew she was the one. Nailed it the first time!
This is why I believe in God. It had to be divine intervention. At age 16, I seldom made good decisions.
I am very fortunate. I seem to have been given the gift to see beyond the glitter, confetti and smoke and mirrors under which people are obscured or actively hide. I can be fooled, but not for long. I can trust. I’ve been burned a few times, but I could stand the losses. When I win, however, I win BIG.
Daltongang Premium Member 5 months ago
Sounds like wishful thinking there Aunty.
ladykat 5 months ago
Yes.
TLH1310 Premium Member 5 months ago
… or women
stepzla 5 months ago
Raises hand You would think we learn!! It is why I have decided, that if I survive my spouse, I will never ever marry again!
cuzinron47 5 months ago
Can’t say that I have, but then I’m a guy. I’m also a bit of pacifist and don’t abuse people.
Phoenix83 5 months ago
My hubby is a very nice guy, but he’s pulled some things similar to late epsodes of Everybody Loves Raymond.
kathleenhicks62 5 months ago
An on-going problem. . . .
JLChi 5 months ago
I avoided jerks like the plague. I did once date a guy — mainly because he was drop-dead gorgeous — who suddenly lost it and screamed at me over nothing, and that was the end of him. He called the next day and swore it would never happen again, but I had seen who he was. No way would I give him a second chance.
I don’t understand women who can’t quickly judge an abusive jerk. Guys always show us who they are, and like Maya Angelou says, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Also: Watch the way he treats a waitress, especially in a not-expensive restaurant. Listen to how he talks about his mother and sisters and old girlfriends, his female teachers, his female co-workers (and especially if he has a female boss). That is how he will be talking about you.
Especially listen if he talks bad about your female friends or relatives, trying to isolate you. Listen if he makes little negative comments about your appearance or actions, maybe “jokingly” calling you stupid or inferring you are incompetent, trying to destroy your confidence and make you feel worthless. Listen if he gets upset because you said hello to a male friend on the street. Oh, heck, I could go on and on. Just listen.
crazeekatlady 5 months ago
Both paws frantically waving in the air. When hubby died, his best friend told me I would get married again. Why the hockey sticks would I do something that stupid again???? Was my answer.
rockyridge1977 5 months ago
Sick habit!!!!!!
bakana 5 months ago
Sorry. The only thing I’ve been victimized by is my taste in Women.
It’s been so long since I had a nice girl over for dinner, I’ve almost forgotten what they taste like.