Herman by Jim Unger for February 14, 2024

You didn’t see the quarter machine to activate the vibrator? It’s not a vibrator

“Please, I need to report an Alien Invasion! They are coming in the form of carnivorous mattresses!”

I hate when that happens.

Never trust a Craftmatic bed.

..meep..

They appear to be users, not shoppers or managers. But, in the end, he’s still a pretzel.

It was meant to be a suit presser. The bed is in the other room.

Well it must be uncomfortable because he is yelling…oh pain, oh pain……

Maybe he should have adjusted it to a lower setting.

Do you know YOUR SandwichBed™ number?

He’s going to need a chiropractor now.

Wrong IKEA instructions.

Those used to be called a rollaway bed. It’s ready to roll away now.

TICKLE HIS FEET!!

Now stretch, and touch your toes…breathe in, breathe out

Hufnageled.

He got folded, spindled, and mutilated.

And she remains calm..

Ah, the taco setting.

In 1964 on vacation to the NY World’s Fair, our dad gave us a quarter to try the motel “Magic Fingers” vibrating bed for a few minutes. Pretty disappointing.

This actually happened to my late Husband with Crapmatic bed. (He had MS) and the #@% thing folded him in,we had to call the fire department to get him out by dismantling the bed.