Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 18, 2024

Which group is Rat in?

As a matter of fact, I believe that all comedic actors fall into two groups. One consists of everybody who’s better than Adam Sandler, and the other consists of Adam Sandler.

Rat is that deeply embedded portion of our brain that sometimes makes you feel like everyone is insane but you.

Who doesn’t judge people by the company they keep?

A great comedian can make you laugh by being brutally honest.

Rat finally got it right.

That’s how that politician can tell how many voters he can count on, goat…

Another one that doesn’t seem funny. Is Pastis running out of ideas?

So how about some jokes about removing the politics from the SCOTUS? Maybe a minimalist approach with new recusal rules? (1) A nonpartisan Justice can compel two junior partisans to recuse. (2) No Justice may rule on a case against the president who gave him the lifetime job. (3) Your idea here? (I think the other solution approaches I’ve heard of would fail.)

The Professor and Mary-Ann?

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” – George Carlin

That’s called bing a realist, not a racist.

There are 10 kinds of people – those who understand the binary system, and those who don’t.

So many folks are like Rat, everyone is stupid except them! (I have to admit, me when I drive in traffic)!

Rat isn’t racist, he hates everybody.

Amen.

I often hear politicians and pundits say “Americans are not stupid.” I wonder what America they are living in.

Rat is an equal opportunity offender, so he’ll insult everyone, no matter what race they are.

There are two types of people in this world…

People who love math and people who don’t count. :P

There are 144 types of people in the world. 12 in the Chinese zodiac x 12 in the western zodiac

Hey Rat “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”—Harlan Ellison

Rat, I hate to say it, but you’re right.

Even Rat sometimes gets it right.

Gee, I wonder which politican is that

1. Donald Trump

2. Trump’s the only option

I always find it a little disturbing when I find myself agreeing with Rat.

Sadly, I somewhat agree with Rat. If we were to suddenly have an unstoppable pandemic virus that targeted people with near-zero common sense, I’m afraid the majority of the human race would be wiped out in a day.

That may seem judgemental and pessimistic, but seriously, look around us. People who break traffic laws although they know they are endangering themselves and others in doing so. People who are bigoted, prejudiced and closed-minded. Those who insist their opinions are the rules of the Universe (and by that concept, everyone who disagrees with them is ignorant an uneducated). People who damage the very planet we live on. Countries that create nuclear bombs that they hope they never have to use. Those who create biological weapons that sometimes get away from them. I could go on and on, but there isn’t enough memory on the Go-Comics servers to list them all. ;D

Oh, and those who argue politics on Go-Comics forums. Almost forgot those. Those are just the worst.

— Posted by Snoots… expert at “poke it with a stick” …. mwahahahahahahaaaa

Space aliens are not allowed to vote in my polling station, based on passed observations.

Stupidity is the only thing that replicates itself. Frank Zappa

What’s interesting is how Pastis toys with politics without committing himself.

Rat hasn’t really made it clear that he isn’t one of the stupid people…

“Everyone is an idiot but me and thee, and I’m beginning to wonder about thee.”

The real binary in the human race is, people who feel justified in mistreating others because of some morally neutral characteristic, and people who don’t.

Another oldie but goodie: There are two types of people. Those you can fit into two types and those you can’t.

The problem is stupid people believe this about others!

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of people

And we haven’t even started to discuss Jerry Lewis…..

And you can’t fix STUPID!

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get until you open it up and bite in. People are the same way. You don’t know what you are going to get until they open their mouth.

There are 2 types of people in the world: those who ARE people and those who AREN’T people.

Then there are the Crocodiles. They judge you by what food GROUP you’re in.