Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 10, 2024

This over-milked gag has certainly soured with repetition

This wasn’t exactly grade-A.

I behooves him to say that.

… don’t worry, I gave the calf a cow pie …

Stay away from the farmer and his milking machine

Stepan is milking this for all he can get.

More lactose than we can tolerate!

A real milk dud!

How do you like your coffee?

De-calf….

You couldn’t steak your reputation on a joke lie that. Your really butchered it. You are full of it past-your-eyes. Whoever told you to print that gave you a bum steer. But I’ve herd worse jokes, it wasn’t calf bad.

Udderly ridiculous.

That’s a veal shame, Connie.

so the calf had nothing teat?

Rat, you leaving is an act of cowardice!

So many years and Rat has yet to be cowed.

To err is human, to forgive bovine?

Why did the milkmaid have to quit?

Because she had no regard for the feelings of udders.

I’d join in with the cow jokes but then that would make me a sheep.

Pastis sometimes has some dry wit!

Calm down, it wasn’t a baaad joke.

Stephan, you’re not helping. Ok, except for minor details like coming up with the joke, drawing the cartoon and such. But still.

it’s strips like this that make my day!

Rat would fit right in on “Family Circus”.

She’s a milk dud :D Even I know those old jokes and have no idea what a “milk dud” is! What’s next? “Reindeer?” “I told you, it was pouring!”

Cow-abunga!

I wonder which comic strip will take Rat? How about Outland?

How hard is it to drink a mug of coffee with hooves ?

Sounds like Rat’s got another beef with Pastis.

I love a good Pastis pun!

I actually saw that cartoon going much worse.

Rat feels cowed.

So simple yet funny.

Problem is, Connie is a bull who only identifies as female.

It would behoove you to drink more water…

A cow pun? What is this? Barnyard?

If rat goes, can we see more Gator, Zebra Neighbor, and Guard Duck?

Puns! I love puns!

I suppose folks will log in all day and milk this pun for all it’s worth, which is fine, since so little is at steak.

The real problem is that the calf didn’t tip her mother.

Funny!! Don’t mooooove!

Stop. I can’t stomach stomach stomach stomach these puns . .

First time ever I didn’t see it coming!

I’m calling this BULL!

udderly ridicowless! * my joke, credit to “WWAZman”

See today’s “Peanuts Begins” to see from where Pastis got this nasty habit.

At least “rat” didn’t hit him with a baseball bat!

At least Rat didn’t use a cattle prod on Pastis after that rather poor effort at a pun…

is that even possible for rat to move to another comic. :\

I feel sorry for the cow and her calf.

Everyone milking this one…

Enough with the puns already! Where’s my bat? I see you in the comments, too!

What’s his beef?

I heard the same thing happened the next day: an-udder failure

That was its beef.

This was only 2% funny…

Cud we stop now?

He refused to be cowed by Rat.

That answer sounds more like rat, not pig

How about moving to “Gil Thorp”? That strip needs all the help it can get.

WAIT LOOK: Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo and the calf happily continued making pies.

Here’s a reality check for people who are very removed from a farm that they do not know how nature works:

When a cow does not have any more milk for her calf, that means she became impregnated again. That would be too sad, since the calf was not even weaned…So what is that bull doing running amok on that farm and raping cows??

If he tries to move he’ll have to try out at a lot of cattle calls.

Okay, you know what…

Mooove on over to Gil Thorp. They can use a better writer and artist and Rat can’t be any worse. ;-)

oh you tipped it

Here’s another groaner—-cows do not give milk.

You have to take it away from them

I’m glad I’m in the right galaxy for these jokes.

Please leave the cows alone. Failure to do so may result in a global milk shortage.

I tittered at this joke.

Good one Mr. Pastis!

Come, some, Rat, the old jokes are the best jokes. They have staying-power.

Go ahead Rat,take the COWards way out.

Rat could go to Mary Worth. Be Wilbur’s next pet who dies and is greatly mourned… It’s ok. Mary makes great funereal muffins…Or to Big Nate. Be the class hamster’s buddy..Maybe Fur Babies. Floor needs a mouse to chew on…

What, Pastis made a cow pun? How dairy!

G R O A N — LOLOL

Too bad he didn’t bring back Guard Duck for this. Pastis did a long story arc with Guard Duck and cows about 15 years ago. Check out the strip from November 9, 2009.

Pastis … go to your room!

Nah—the pun strips are udderly fantastic. Keep ’em up.

I see that Cyanide and Happiness is looking for characters now

Quit milking the puns.