Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for December 27, 2024

“Now” You’ve Done It!

I am answering the customer line and working the service desk at our large big box and grocery store on Christmas Eve. We close at 10:30 PM. I announced the store closure at thirty minutes, fifteen, ten, and five minutes. At fifteen seconds to closing, the phone rang:

Caller: “What time do you close?”

Me: “Now.”

Caller: “Wait, what? You’re closing now?”

Me: “Merry Christmas!” Click.

I cackled all the way to my locker. It’s the little things…

We’re Real Big Fans Of This Comeback!

One day, I’m not in a particularly good mood at work. I’m not snapping at anyone, but I guess I have an RBF (Resting B**** Face). One chipper coworker sees me coming toward them in a hallway.

Coworker: “Y’know, it takes fewer muscles to smile rather than frown.”

Me: “But it’s worth the effort.”

a lot.

Too right. I resemble that remark.

I never enjoy being an a-hole, but I do enjoy being blunt.

No.

Sorry, I’ve flushed those memories.

Years later, I still choke on those memories.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation you could have avoided if you would have just not been … a jerk?

Yes, I often have a hard time telling someone “no”

I decided that I no longer need to be a rectal excavation. There is too much competition from other people fighting for the job.

Frequently.

Not being an A.H. works more to your advantage than anyone else’s. You can walk away unscathed. They have to live with what they did or didn’t do and with themselves.

Aunty the case usually is one where being an @$$hole is the reason for the situation you are in. I am sure you can relate.

No. But as I age my tolerance for intentionally ignorant entitlement behaviors from others declines.

People think I’m a nice guy, only because I work very hard at suppressing the a-hole genes I inherited.

Speaking freely Aunty from lifetime of experience as an A**?

Can’t say as I have, but then I try to avoid @$$holes.

My younger self agrees wholeheartedly but nearing my 7th decade I pick and choose those moments now. If a response from me could be avoided I will take it, let whoever it was that got us in that situation get away with it, my pride can take a back seat. Why escalate what could be avoided? Those looking for trouble will find that trouble was waiting the whole time. With cell phones in nearly every hand there will be someone who will call the cops when things go awry, leave and you do not have to regret a poor emotion based decision.

YES.

hmm… just the opposite, actually….

My husband’s brother in law. Let’s just say the man is no longer welcome at my house after how he behaved this past week

Avoid one….and that usually leads to another………seasonal or chronic???

The @sshole deserves respect. It knows the difference among solids, liquids, and gases. When it fails to distinguish which is which, it is likely to cause you embarrassment in public. Fear the brown stripe in your undies or pay the price.

to paraphrase Raylen from the tv show “Justified” – “have you ever had one of those days when everyone you meet is an a$$h@le? well, maybe its not them, its you”

seems like it would work better if your not an a$$h@le

being that was usually what got me into situations…

Yes.