Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 25, 2025

Harsh

Some artists earn more money after they die than while they were alive. Does this art gallery charge more if they expect the artist to die soon?

Cough cough; I’m not feeling well. By my art now before it’s too late!

Does the gallery factor in if the artist is missing an ear?

If the artist is 27, is it free?

There is some that was bought in the last 2 or 3 years that will drop in value like a stone.

I guess, then, that Methuselah was a long-time undervalued ‘starving artist’.

‘A Dead Pool’ by David Hockney?

Still, wanna-be-Pollocks binned near the pay counter.

It’s not really cold, its historically true… now put the gun down Mr Van Gogh.

I was at an art gallery with a friend and inquired about a price of a painting. The sales lady said “15”. I went yow! My friend goes, 15 dollars, that isn’t much, LOL! I said she means 1500!! He looked at her and she nodded. A few years later, I got a similar one at Penney’s for $104 which was more in my budget.

Guy’s wife painted for years and her art was… passable. Her husband started painting and his work was much better than hers. She was less than happy about that.

Forget bit-coyns, I have my fortune safely ensconced in

“on velvet” paintings. Elvis, dogs playing cards, large women

in their nighties. All the good ones. Ooh, wolves howling at

the moon, got a pair of those babies.

Well, the gallery owner sure makes sense and makes my fingernails hurt.

I’m now enjoying hanging more meaningful artworks from family, friends and travels, and donating old random prints with not much personal connection to the local Habitat ReStore.

It should be more expensive for the old folks, since those assisted living places are expensive

Looking for other great comics to follow… Suggestions?

I have a ‘limited-to-about-400-copies’ David Lynch self-portrait lithograph. Before his passing, it was worth somewhere between $800-1000 or so. I refuse to check its worth now that he’s passed. Too ghoulish. Besides, I like it, so it’s going nowhere regardless.

New entry for the Dictionary of Occupational Titles: Art Actuary.

We invited a lot of people to our local Chinese buffet for my 80th birthday party, and about 80 of them showed up. My wife had put together a party game with scorecards and prizes for the top finishers. It was called “Alive or Dead?”. She’d read off the names of 50 more or less famous people, 1 at a time, and the players would have to mark their cards according to their best judgment. Top finishers went into a playoff round with 10 additional, more difficult names, concluding with “Schrödinger’s cat”. Everybody seemed to have a good time with it.

By that reasoning, AI paintings should be valuable – since the computer is technically dead.

You’re worth more money dead than alive even if you’re not an artist, carry a lot of life insurance. One of the shortest wills ever read: Being of sound mind, I spent all of my money LOL

A lucrative career in the arts is easy. The secret to turning a profit is to die for a long time.

As an elderly working artist struggling to make a living, it burns my beans to know that my work will be have more value when I’m dead.

Something in the news about $500 billion going into A.I.

Why? I wondered and then I saw it was “U S Govt money” oh well, that’s Ok. I can relax knowing it won’t be squandered. Not with the Orange Felon in charge.

or the life expectancy of a banana…

I think we knew that already.