That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 10, 2025

/// Seventeen-seven-six. West played dumb and

made a Portrait of the Family Drummond.

There’s just three, to be fair,

for the fourth isn’t there.

The archbishop who’d each of them summoned.

/// His sixth, (clergyman), son holds the frame.

George Hay Drummond is that brother’s name.

Third son, Peter, (at right),

and his wife both keep sight

of the painting, as though their Dad came.

“I think he’ll be perfect for our 16 year old daughter. What do you think Charles Let’s start making the wedding arrangements”

Yes, that looks just like grandpa. I’ll pay you once the inheritance clears.

The husband sits silently. He always hated his father-in-law, and only came with his wife to have a painting drawn to keep her from overspending on the waste of wall space. A picture of dogs playing cards would look much better.

“It’s quite worthless l’m afraid.

However, l’d be happy to keep it and give you £100 for the frame.

What? Okay, make it 200."

“I’ll give you so much for this frame”,

Said a con man who gave a fake name.

“The painting l swear,

Is not very rare,

I’ve seen thousands that all look the same."

The Colonel’s taken his date/

To a studio out of state/

Where he’s had them portrayed-/

Now he hopes to get laid/

So they’ll probably get home late..///

The Colonel’s salient trait/

Is a tendency to gain weight/

Which he tries to conceal/

With a corset of steel-/

But he’s been losing ground, of late..

Oh, what will become of this pair:/

He of chubbiness – she of huge hair?/

I shall have to await/

Revealing their fate/

Because it is 3 a.m. ….

As you can clearly see this man is much too old and kindly looking to play such a sinister character. I suggest you cast Boris Karloff to play my husband.

You have a bit of paint on your lip. Don’t wet the brush.

“But most of all … I Remember Papa.”

In the days before Tinder, you swiped the painting to the right if you liked it, …

“Oh, so that’s what happened to my favorite blouse.”

Mr West had a way of always photobombing his own paintings…

Lady Elsa Lancaster casually points out the flaws in the portrait of Lord Alfred Hitchcock. Colonel George Sanders is not amused.

“I think it will look perfect hanging over the back of the toilet. What do you think dear?”

The Family Drummond! Wow – they could be my relatives. (Seriously, my 3rd great-grandmother’s maiden name was Drummond (born in 1801, I believe.) I always wondered about her parents, siblings, etc., although, it may be possible she had a brother, George, in Canada.

“Now here’s a portrait of your husband 30 years from now.”

“NO! I WON’T make his nose a bit bigger!”

“I’ve used intelligence artificially to age your fiancé so that you know what you are in for.”

“you asked for a portrait of your husband but I used artistic license to paint what I thought your husband should look like”

Portrait of the Drummond Family, Peter Auriol Drummond (1754-1799), Mary Bridget Milnes Drummond (1755-1835), and George William Drummond (1761-1807): 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings by Benjamin West" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Brave search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Wikimedia Category: found and once there find the text string Auriol, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this large painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3441 (January 10, 2025) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing the blog entry with my comment and reply pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 8 works associated with him have been used here, the October 18, 2023, strip being the prior actually by him.

“Yes, that’s the look I want!”

Is she going for a Bride of Frankenstein look?

“Now, using this picture, please show the court exactly where he touch you.”

the general didn’t know he was dating the “bride of Frankenstein”

Mary Bridget thought that her best bet

was to copy Marie Antoinette

for that hairstyle so Gallic

hid her hydrocephalic

deformity neath a hair net

Zelda, I so marvel at your body I am forced to cover my enthusiasm with my helmet!

“No, it’s not J. S. Bach—but it may be one of his many sons!”

The most awkward hidden left-handed hand job ever.