For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for February 22, 2025

“Rational” thinking at its ….. finest!!!

;-)

Why does she feel she has to lose 10 lbs.? Is she gonna pose in a bikini at the Baja??

The easiest way to lose some pounds is go to the United Kingdom and spend some money.

The most fat you can lose in one week is about 2 1/2 pounds.

My BMI show up on ever office HMO visit, showing me at least 10 pounds overweight. Last time on report the doctor called me a well-proportioned 84-year-old. Up my dose of ‘water’ pills and I can lose 10 pounds in a week. I cannot believe it when someone says they never varied more than 5 pounds from what they weighed at HS graduation (except when they were pregnant for the females).

Elly, take a couple of shots of castor oil and those ten pounds will come sliding right out.

My excuse is that if you’re TOO skinny your wrinkles show up more.

I have a secret for Elly to easily lose 10 bs in a week because I’ve done it before. I suppose it would be a good idea to let Elly know it involves catching the flu, not being able to eat because I couldn’t keep anything down and feeling as if the end of the world was nigh as I was flat on my back for a week. I haven’t missed a flu shot since.

Good point.

Such is the power of goals.

Some ten years ago my doctor told me I was borderline diabetic and that I should lose some weight. Not long after I was asked to “foster” a three year old border collie that needed a new home.

The first month I had her I lost eight pounds! All that border collie energy demanded eight walks per day. I suppose I was snacking less and eating healthier. My doctor was amazed, and my numbers were much better. I have not been worried about diabetes since.

I was only supposed to “foster” the dog for a month or so. Ha! Ten years later she is showing her age, but we are inseparable.

This works on the same principle as requesting a raise.

Ask for 10% when you only want 5%.

Then end up with 1% and so it goes on…

Here we go again with another story arc of “Elly vs. Belly”

10 pounds in one weeks is almost impossible

Reminds me of the ad (I think it was in Mad Magazine) that touted “Lose 10 pounds of ugly fat in less than a day.” It featured a guillotine.

Just buy a “Taco” from a street vendor once you get there….

You will loose more than you want, real soon…..

Wear running shoes and hope for the best…..

Fun with word reversal! Here is the first one:

What is the difference between a cheap diner and the SPLC?

A cheap diner gives us hash and tripe

The SPLC gives us trash and hype!

Now figure out the rest…

What is the difference between a poultry lab and a Hollywood accountant?

A poultry lab takes in cluckers for science

A Hollywood accountant takes in

What is the difference between a traumatizing accident and an IRS audit?

A traumatizing accident is a breakdown that shakes you

An IRS audit is a

What is the difference between a spanking and a tourist in Canada?

A spanking rattles the buns

A tourist in Canada

What is the difference between an omelet chef and Lynn Johnston?

An omelet chef fuses her yolks

Lynn Johnston

We had a pretty large aunt who wanted to go on a cruise sooo badly, and her husband kept telling her he’d take her when she could wear a swimsuit. I said, “Do you have a swimsuit that fits?” She said yes. “Would you wear it to the pool or beach or whatever?” She said sure! I said, “Put it on and tell him to book the cruise!” She did and they both loved the cruise!

It’s called a stretch goal. ;-)

I only go out in that kind of weather for coffee and over the c ounter medication

Dopey stereotypes always rule don’t they ! ;-)