“I’m calling 1-800-HAV-JUNK and getting all these controversial banned books out of here! They’re a fire hazard!”
“I’m calling Eugene to see if he can row all my unsold copies of ‘Fahrenheit 451’ out to the middle of a lake and dump them!”
“I’m calling that Moore teacher and telling him not to recommend my bookstore to any of his students!”
“I’m calling the book wholesaler and cancelling my orders of ‘All Boys Aren’t Blue,’ ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower,’ ‘The Bluest Eye,’ ‘And Tango Makes Three,’ and ‘Tricks’!
So there only thing to does when things is get scary eh. The so called right thing is to picks up yer smartyphone and spreads a unproven rumour and makes it spreads like wildfire eh.
First she calls Les Moore. “I hear your kids didn’t all get their copies of Fahrenheit 451 before the fire at the BookSmeller. Just wanted you to know I still have two dozen in stock.”
Second, she calls her insurance company. “That’s right, I want a million dollar arson policy. Can’t be too safe.”
Third, she calls her travel agent. “I’d like a ticket to Cancun. First class.”
Note that due to space and time limitations, we will only see the first Right Thing™ in the strip.
Lillian to the rescue! Ordering 100 copies of the book that led to felony arson for some incomprehensible reason. Granted she has no idea what the book is, but she’s doing it anyway.
I presume that Batiuk will let us know tomorrow what Lil’s right thing is. Right now, even after finishing a cup of coffee, I have no clue what that is.
I’m seeing and hearing so much of “concerning” when they mean “disconcerting”. Is it too hard to pronounce or spell or what? It just reminds me of “irregardless”.
Bill Thompson 10 days ago
Her phone has a self-destruct button? YAY!
wherescrankshaft 10 days ago
Dial C for Crankshaft! Do it! Do something! Do anything!
Bill Thompson 10 days ago
Who ya gonna call? Ghost Flusters! Watch Dead Lisa, Masky McDeath and Bull Bushka reduce this story to total incoherence!
J.J. O'Malley 10 days ago
“I’m calling 1-800-HAV-JUNK and getting all these controversial banned books out of here! They’re a fire hazard!”
“I’m calling Eugene to see if he can row all my unsold copies of ‘Fahrenheit 451’ out to the middle of a lake and dump them!”
“I’m calling that Moore teacher and telling him not to recommend my bookstore to any of his students!”
“I’m calling the book wholesaler and cancelling my orders of ‘All Boys Aren’t Blue,’ ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower,’ ‘The Bluest Eye,’ ‘And Tango Makes Three,’ and ‘Tricks’!
macgyver915 10 days ago
I’d say that you have the total incoherence market totally covered, billy! LOL…
ehenwood 10 days ago
I don’t get the logic. Skip came specifically to ask her about the bookstore fire, and then immediately told her it probably was nothing and left?
Lord Flatulence Premium Member 10 days ago
Cue dramatic music.
Alys France 10 days ago
I like her attitude! She seems a spunky lady.
French Persons Premium Member 10 days ago
“YouPorn!”
Surly Squirrel Premium Member 10 days ago
Lillian: “But there’s only one thing to do when things start getting scary. The right thing. ORDERING THE DELIVERY OF A MONTONI’S PIZZA!!!"
Liam Astle Premium Member 10 days ago
“Hello, Ed. I know where the burning debris of your grills have landed.”
The Orange Mailman 10 days ago
Or “the write thing”. Write another murder mystery: murder in the bookstore that was set on fire.
Gent 10 days ago
It’s called righthing!
Gent 10 days ago
So there only thing to does when things is get scary eh. The so called right thing is to picks up yer smartyphone and spreads a unproven rumour and makes it spreads like wildfire eh.
Out of the Past 10 days ago
Go to Cancun.
gammaguy 10 days ago
“The right thing.”
The far-right thing?
No, I doubt that she’s aware of anything happening beyond her “bookstore”.
By the way, what ever happened to the little girls who used to hang out there?
Oh, right, Skip met them earlier, and their sweetness totally disarmed him.
ladykat 10 days ago
And, pray tell, what would that be?
puddleglum1066 10 days ago
The Right Thing™:
First she calls Les Moore. “I hear your kids didn’t all get their copies of Fahrenheit 451 before the fire at the BookSmeller. Just wanted you to know I still have two dozen in stock.”
Second, she calls her insurance company. “That’s right, I want a million dollar arson policy. Can’t be too safe.”
Third, she calls her travel agent. “I’d like a ticket to Cancun. First class.”
Note that due to space and time limitations, we will only see the first Right Thing™ in the strip.
Mopman 10 days ago
Lillian to the rescue! Ordering 100 copies of the book that led to felony arson for some incomprehensible reason. Granted she has no idea what the book is, but she’s doing it anyway.
rockyridge1977 10 days ago
Hey…..she is calling Crankshaft……….maybe tomorrow…..the red man is back!!!!
Irish53 10 days ago
P 4 (Lizard Lil): “…Toga party!…”
WilliamVollmer 10 days ago
I presume that Batiuk will let us know tomorrow what Lil’s right thing is. Right now, even after finishing a cup of coffee, I have no clue what that is.
Strawberry King 10 days ago
Cranky to the rescue! Yay!
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 10 days ago
the right thing being to triple your fire insurance
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 10 days ago
PUZZLE QUIZ
What percent of book banners have actually read the books they’re trying to ban?
raybarb44 10 days ago
Usually works……
lemonbaskt 10 days ago
charlie says love my good and plenty it really rings a bell
bvandrasik 10 days ago
call Ghostbusters?
kathleenhicks62 10 days ago
Crankshaft is a lost soul.
terry 10 days ago
I’m seeing and hearing so much of “concerning” when they mean “disconcerting”. Is it too hard to pronounce or spell or what? It just reminds me of “irregardless”.
eced52 10 days ago
Call Crankshaft.
French Persons Premium Member 10 days ago
1-800-EXCORCISE-THE-DEMONS-FROM-BATTY
Emlyn Premium Member 10 days ago
Was he threatening to burn down her store?
be ware of eve hill 9 days ago
The right thing? Hmm, what can that be?
Call a newspaper reporter who isn’t a hack?
Call Channel 1 Action News so she can stand on a soapbox and “bravely” preach for the next two weeks that book bannings/burnings are bad?
Call Les Moore. He’ll know what to do. Batty thinks he’s the most wonderful character ever! Les Moore saves the day! USA! USA! USA!
Calling the award committees to remind them that TB needs an award? Any award!!!
chief tommy 9 days ago
The right thing — vote Blue
lemonbaskt 9 days ago
you think lilian would call operator and hope to get fellow old bag lily tomlin whatever she called herself
Out of the Past 9 days ago
The right thing: burn this loser down and claim the insurance money.
Surly Squirrel Premium Member 9 days ago
Lillian is calling Batyuk to cancel the rest of the story. It wasn’t going anywhere.
That would be the right thing to do. It would spare the readers a lot of misery.