For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for April 11, 2023

good job, Elizabeth

I feel as though in the last panel, Michael is speaking more to Lynn Johnston than to Elizabeth.

Timing is everything!

Mike can dish it out but he can’t take it.

BTW, good luck with drying out the whole basement using just that puny fan.

Michael looks just like his Mom.

Ellie would have wanted you never to say it, Lizzy;-D

Sump pumps CAN"T pump sump? Go figure! And I suppose gasoline pumps can’t pump gasoline either.

That was sumpin’.

It would pump all the sump that a sump pump could if a sump pump could pump sump!

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

Toy boats, toy boats, toy boats, toy boats…

Red letter, yellow letter, red letter, yellow letter…

The Leith Police Dissmisseth Us(pronounced “Leeth”)

My guess would be about as much wood that a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. (Another great one Lynn.)

Lizardbreath finally got one on her brother. Six million more to go before she catches up to him.

Elizabeth, a 1/4 horsepower sump pump, properly installed (and working as you found out), with 1 1/2 inch discharge piping can pump up to 1,800 gallons of water per hour.

A more practical answer is a sump pump can only pump out what water is in the sump hole down to the bottom inch (give or take a little).

I am April in this one, and she is me.

April is doing a better job!

Dennis the Menace once got the original woodchuck riddle mixed up, and recited it for Groundhog Day, as “How much ground could a groundhog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?”

Must be in the name. My daughter Elizabeth is similarly quick. Last week we ordered some DVDs, including titles like, “The Whale”, “Everything, Everywhere, All At Once”, and “Harriet”. When we first put in the order they were coming on different dates, but soon we were informed that they should all be arriving on the same day. When Elizabeth heard this, she said, “So you mean that we’ll be getting Everything from Everywhere All At Once?”

Elizabeth is sharp, April is joyful, Mike is…Mike.

The ones you wait the longest to use turn out to be the sweetest.

I love that bit of business with April and the fan.

OK I could have sworn I remembered Mike being the one that said this. LOL and groan.

Yes, she has, Michael!

There was a good one in Calvin and Hobbes recently: “How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?” Cleverer than most such.

LOL… good one.

A few years back my bartender told the story of his being at a motocross rally when an announcement came over the PA demanding that whoever had stolen a certain guy’s prosthetic leg return it. I opened my mouth wide in horror and said “That poor man! He must have been hopping mad!” I’d been sitting on that line since I was in high school.

There used to be a business in NYC called the Gump Sump Pump Company.

Well, she’s in a good mood, considering the last time we saw Liz, her so-called mother was terrorizing her over a mess in her room! Are they even on speaking terms!?

I honestly thought that it was El yelling in the last panel, at first

How much ground could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

How many outs would the dropout drop if the dropout could drop outs?

This is a long one… The Tale of Two Bootblacks, from the book, Joy of Lex, by Gyles Brandreth. Try reading out loud; it’ll be even better.Two bootblacks, a white bootblack and a black bootblack, stood together doing nothing.The white bootblack proposed that he should black the boots of the black bootblack.The black bootblack was perfectly willing to have his boots blacked by the white bootblack.So the white bootblack began to black the boots of the black bootblack.But when the white bootblack had blacked one boot of the black bootblack, he declined to black the other boot of the black bootblack until the black bootblack had blacked both boots of the white bootblack.However, the black bootblack refused point-blank to black the boots of the white bootblack, and said he didn’t care whether the white bootblack blacked the other boot black or not. He considered that one boot blacked was enough for a black bootblack, and that a black bootblack with one boot blacked was better than a while bootblack with no boots blacked.Then the white bootblack called the black bootblack a black blackguard.Of course, when the white bootblack began blacking the character of the black bootblack, the black bootblack began blacking the face of the white bootblack all black with the blacking on the boot the white bootblack had blacked, and the white bootblack blacked the black bootblack back.When the Society of Black and White Bootblacks considered the matter, they characterized the conduct of both bootblacks as the blackest affair that had ever blackened the pages of bootblack history.*

The use of racial adjectives in this story is strictly for literary purposes.

Touché

Laugh now,Lizz,but you’re on “dry out the sofa pillows” duty

It was worth the wait!!!

Gentle Canadian humor