Frazz by Jef Mallett for August 18, 2019

This year: Pumpkin Spice Spam. Available September 23.

Einstein explained it with a hot stove and beautiful girl.

I’ve seen a garage in Kansas with a sign: “Coming soon—pumpkin spice oil change!”

Because we dread winter.

Only a few years further into climate breakdown and you will long tor the end of dead-valley-season longer than you ever did for the end of winter.

Especially if you can’t afford to pay the energy bill for your AC

I beg to differ. All offices, stores, restaurants feel refrigerated to me …

Pumpkin Pie Kitkats

Sam’s Club has its Halloween candy out. (Wonder when the candy companies made the stuff?)

So true.

Actually, it’s because “the holidays” now start on October 31, and the sales and ads keep getting earlier and earlier. Ka-ching.

I keep a couple of extra summers in the basement freezer so it will last longer.

Good word play today.

Around here Winter lasts from October through March, Summer from June through August. No mystery about it. Winter has a longer shelf life.

I enjoy autumn and welcome the cooler temps, but I will never, never gladly accept the lessening daylight hours.

It’s because that old saying is really true, “Time flys when you’re having fun”.

Summer vacation originated in an era when 80-90% of Americans had to work the crops and fields in the summer and needed every hand on deck, including the kids (which is also why they had double-digit-sized families). We are SOOOOO far beyond that now, yet we still cling to our 19th Century school schedule.

Ask any grade-school teacher how they spend the first 3-4 weeks of each new school year, and they’ll tell you it’s bringing the kids back up to about the same level they had the previous May.

I think the year has a heavy spot at about Labor Day. As it rolls along, it coasts around until winter goes on and on as it’s creeeeeeping up to about the first of March, then accelerates as the heavy spot gets pulled down faster and faster until it reaches the bottom and it all starts all over again (but, having me with more gray hair. Umm. I mean less but grayer hair).

Thank you Jef Mallett for that shriek of laughter! So funny!

The climate isn’t matching the calendar anymore.

PostsFrazz18 hrs ·

Sometimes writing is a very deliberate, methodical process. But once in a while, you’ll get an unexplained flash of insight that really pushes you to believe in muses. It’s not that those ideas are necessarily better than the more blue-collar ideas. It’s that you honestly don’t know where the hell they came from.

I love the refrigeration idea, and truly, I couldn’t make it up again if I tried.

Also, if the wheels ever come off the funnies business and I open my own cafe, I am definitely naming it Joe Jones. Brilliant. Although that’s what I thought when I wrote a book about triathlon and gave it a title that was a little to clever and WAY too hard for most of the book-requesting world to pronounce.