Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 02, 2023

It’s your friends’ phones that are not working.

life was okay before mobile devices, it really was…

Some days I really prefer getting no messages. Not all days, just some.

If you want your phone to ring, just go to a movie theater.

I get a text from my dentist telling me to confirm my appt by texting us, I always reply by texting “us”, works I guess

How come my phone doesn’t have a ‘Spammers Do Not Disturb’ feature?

Rat, you are a spoil sport.

Rat’s right.

Pig has had his phone on airplane mode, and his spirits been flying high without the constant negativity.

Well at least them spammers is give you company Pig.

That is disturbing.

Shut off your phone, close the shutters and draw the curtains. You’ll feel much better and be left with a nice drawing of the curtains…

Aww, such a kind soul to be lonely, what’s his number and I’ll rest pig a message so he doesn’t feel so alone…

Text pig, I meant text pig;)

Anyone remember “So lonely” by The Police?

“Hello darkness my old friend…..”

Not lonely, lucky. Emails, cals, and texts fulfill nothing but information, maybe. Go to the library, Pig, there are very nice people there.

Aww, poor guy. He needs a hug.

Now if only I could stop spammers from calling and texting me.

Well then Pig should be downright ecstatic that he is not being bombarded with span and phasing scams and all the anxiety it causes… Is there a UPS delivery waiting or not? Click here to be immediately connected with our representative in Ghana who will take all your information.

My uncle tells of the days when answering machines were the hot newness. When he finally bought one, he was melancholy to discover he had not been missing any calls at all…

Like I just said on B.C., any excuse will do if it makes you feel better.

Or… turn off the phone!!

THERE IS A ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ BUTTON?

Airplane mode works for Pig’s needs.

With his affable personality, it surprises me that Pig is lonely.

Don’t worry, be happy, Pig!

The only callers “Do not disturb” works on are the ones you want to hear from.

I’d rather call Pig than rat

Who needs friends when you’ve got Rat?

Nice try, Pig. But Rat doses your parade with a torrential downpour of harsh Reality….