That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 21, 2024

/// Bwana’s taking A Break from the Hunt

for a smoke, while we guides bear the brunt

of locating big game,

but we’ll also get blame

if a lion they, unarmed, confront.

“So you’ve killed Bambi’s mother, it’s no big deal."

He said: “What am I even doing here? I spent a small fortune to travel here all the way from America so I could prove my manhood by hunting a lion. But all I got are these tsetse fly bites, two weeks of malaria and crotch rot. When I finally found the lion, by local guide set up the shot for me and it took all of 5 minutes, leaving me unfulfilled. It’s like a metaphor for my marriage”

She said: “Good session, Charles. Same time next week. I’ll take the copay now”

It has been 3 days now, Paul. You may have to consider the possibility that your missing brother didn’t “spilled some ketchup in his hat wille chasing this giant ape and must be looking for a cleaner”.

Maybe the fact that you sneeze so hard that your hat falls off when you pull the trigger means you are allergic to killing…

Just a thought….

And yes, I’m afraid the guides do find it rather amusing…

It’s me isn’t it.

“Okay, you’ve shown me how to use my pith helmet as a toilet. Now show me how to flush it, so I can put it back on my head.”

He has the knees for it!

I don’t understand. The guy who sold me the gun and the map said this was the perfect spot for snipe hunting.

“Well, at least we’ve proven that the ‘City of Z’ really IS lost.”

“John, it’s not me, it’s you.”

Shooting elephants? Dude, that’s a breeze./

But the natives make fun of his knees../

They are knobby and white/

And the natives are right:/

They look like they’re sculpted from cheese..

Don’t get too down about it. It was our first time out in the woods, and sometimes ‘miss-fires’ happen.

Her: He looks so pensive. I wonder what deep thoughts he’s having.

Him: I’m not sure Jordan Love will be worth all the money the Packers are paying him.

“Reginald, I realize the hole in that log made it seem like a convenient latrine. And I apologize for not packing toilet tissue. But be careful what leaves you use to wipe … lots of poison oak around here!”

Since we are lost in this uncharted jungle and unlikely to be rescued, this would be a bad time to tell you that I have absolutely no attraction to men.

“I’m sorry you shot Ted, but he shouldn’t have been wearing a coat that looks like leopard skin.”

“I don’t mean to alarm you, Lionel, but look behind you. I think the natives are getting restless.”

Jane is sharing with her fiancé that she has found someone else in the jungle and no longer will be marrying him.

This is my rifle, this is my gun.

My rifle is loaded, why not my gun?

It’s been a long day. Get the lantern and let’s do a tick inspection in the tent.

“Should we tell the foreigners that we’re completely lost?”

“Wait until after they unload their rifles.”

I am pregnant. All of the bearers are fine men. I suppose daddy could refine the bunch at Eaton or Cambridge.

“Mark, you’re ‘as white as a mayonnaise sandwich’ -[Joy Reid]. If you think you get no respect now, wait ’til 2024!”

“No, I’m beginning to think it’s because we continue to carry these rifle when we ran out of ammunition last week.”

“Be honest, were you really on your knees in front of that guide like that because you had to suck out the poison from a snake bite?”

He takes her out on a romantic first date, hunting in the jungle. Then, just when he decides to make his move, this artist shows up and starts painting them. Can you believe it?

Break from the Hunt: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings of sitting couples" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, and DuckDuckGo search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Stoops, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3362 (August 21, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .jpg from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the info about this artist I used to point to here. Only work by him used here so far.

Tarzan and jane, the later years.

Tarzan and jane the later years.

could be his chicken legs or knobby knees

“I’m sorry, bud, but when my legs are crossed it means I’m on my period.”

Maria, quietly wondering if a bloke in the hand really is worth two in the bush….