That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 04, 2025

The Art Renewal Center.

But they have a heck of a time figuring out which ones are named Art and which ones are named Burt.

Did Temple and Rudolph Weyr in collusion

Contribute to the 1800s illusion

That there were “in those days Giants”

And put Weyr’s sculptures in compliance

With the Biblical Genesis ‘giants’ allusion?

.

And did some of these large ‘Nephilim’

Neglect learning to dog paddle or swim

When Noah’s Ark rode out the Deluge

Even though they were so bulky and huge

They might have survived along with him?

.

Did they perhaps continue the hoax

And play a crude joke on naive folks

That some of the Nephilim had drowned

And Weyr had found their fossils in the ground

Thereby to pay to view did they coax?

“It’s a complaint from the White House regarding that Dump commission.

Apparently its head got stuck in the doorway."

I told Medusa not to visit the giants, but did she listen?

“Hey kid! Stop trying to look up that statue’s robes!”

“I’m Earl Scheib, and I’ll make any sculpture for $29.95. No ups, no extras.”

IKEA Museum of Fine Art

Good sculper, but short attention plan. He never finishes anything!

The party goers quickly came to the unified conclusion that this was the absolute worst place to have their undecorated easter egg hunt.

Getting the floats ready for Mardi Gras

/// With their standardized-module design,

sections of partial statues combine.

Rudolf Weyr supervised.

Speed and prowess are prized

on the sculptor’s assembly line.

Sculpted deities by the dozen/

In improbable poses frozen/

By curators chosen/

(While the docents are dozin’)/

And not one pair of Lederhosen..

It was a brilliant marketing strategy by Rudolf Weyr to sell his gigantic sculptures by the square foot.

His Art Factory produced the behemoth statues at a rapid rate.

He was the first artist to attach delivery stickers on his works, saying, Some Assembly Is Required!

One art curator was heard proclaiming, “How can they call this art, for there is not one nude in the lot.”

“…and some bagels.”

Great stuff today guys…

Aargh! I knew I should never have purchased a “assembly required statue.” Of course it’s missing one of the pieces needed to put it together. Where am I going to find another hex key that’s the right size.

No expense was spared in ensuring it was Gouda ‘nough for the Big Cheese.

Poseidon’s trident was shockingly small, something something, the water is cold, I declare shinkage!

The sculptor Rudolf Weyr in his studio: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Undated paintings" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Brave search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Wikimedia Category: found, and once there find the text string Weyr, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed by the Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox browsers, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3470 (March 3, 2025) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you crop what’s after .png from the URL). I’ve added a comment there pointing to the info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, first work by him used here.