Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 20, 2018

Careful Herr Schikelgruger! You only have one shot at immortality!

Rock, paper, scissors.

The tension is killing me – wonder who ends up stone cold dead?

That’s one big huckleberry.

“But Daniel was hot, he drew first and shot…..”

Maybe it’s a rock. Maybe it’s a tombstone.

The guy with the gun didn’t understand what the other guy was up to. It was way over his head.

That’s o.k.; apparently Pecos Pete just came to get stoned.

A bucket full of miscellaneous metal junk would be harder to dodge than a stone.

It’s just a jump to the left, no step to the right. Put your hands on your hips. THEN FIRE.

Maybe the onlookers should not be taking the outcome for granite.

If he’s successful, the pillaging will commence shortly thereafter.

He without sin, cast the first stone.

I’m all about unexpected choice of weapons. After watching all those Lash Larue westerns, I wonder how hard it would be to get a bullwhip past the TSA at the airport.

a technique improved upon on by North Korea

Stabby Cat brought a knife to a gunfight, and won. ( from The Legends of Stabby Cat )

Sure hope he didn’t get the catapult from ACME…

He should know that trebuchets are the superior seige weapon.

That saguaro has a better chance of surviving this that the other two.

The Mythbusters tested this one. You can wield a knife faster than you can draw a gun so in very close quarters (like hand-to-hand combat), the knife often wins.

Is that one of Dill’s brothers?

Instead of one big rock he should have loaded it with several smaller rocks. A catapult shotgun.

Reminds me of the scene where Indiana Jones shot the swordsman.

I would have brought a Ballista. It’s more accurate.

Idiomatic? I’m thinking “cliche.”

can he pull the lever faster than the other guy pull the trigger? or will the rock fly fast enough so the other guy can not avoid it by simply stepping aside?

Now he’s between a rock and a hard place.

That wasn’t even funny.

Speak softly but carry a big catapult.

That Trébuchet) has a Dad Man’s Rope so the Gunfighter is still in trouble even if he Shoots First

The real advantage may be if the catapult guy is wearing a full suit of armor under that jacket.

If the guy using the catapult waits for the gunman to draw, he won’t have time to pull the rope.

I’m reminded of the scene from Kung Fu in which Caine is facing off with a gunslinger. Caine is holding a plowshare. He blocks the bullets, then clobbers the gunman with it.

The catapult was slow to reload, not good at close range, and did not holster well.

SidestepBANGBANG

At least he’s using a rock and not a cow.

They will both lose – cord pulled, shot fired, rock falls. Cue the sad music

Talk about killing your opponent, burying him, and placing a stone memorial – all in one step.

Gonna get medieval on him!

Iuventus stultorum magister.

That one would just go over my head.

Rock, Colt, Catapult.

As David and Goliath remind us, never bring a club to a sling fight………

I’m reminded of the scene in “The Magnificent Seven”, where the James Coburn character, Britt, wins a showdown wielding a knife against a man with a gun.

Funny, Bob Marley/Eric Clapton never mentioned using a catapult.

This showdown is gonna rock.

In real life, there are contests to build catapults that are then used for launching everything from watermelons to pianos.

Wonder who will win.

This could be a lose-lose situation

Don’t bring a gun to a WMD fight.

Rock, paper, scissors, catapult, Colt 0.45.

I think this is what you call an anachronism.

I think this was the video for the song, “I’ve Got a Crush On You”!

I wonder who’ll win …

R-P-S-TNT

Lizard…Spock….or cockroach….foot nuclear bomb

Catapult….paper…. scissors

Ringo…

He lay face down in the desert sand

Clutching his release in his hand.

Bashed from behind, I thought he was dead

Under his heart was an ounce of stone

But a spark still burned so I used my knife

And late that night I saved the life of Ringo.

I nursed him till the danger passed

The days went by, he mended fast.

Then from dawn till setting sun

He practiced with that deadly catapult.

And hour on hour I watched in awe

No human being could match the release speed of Ringo.

One day we rode the mountain crest

And I went east and he went west.

I took to law and wore a star

While he spread terror near and far.

With granite and flame he gained such fame

All through the West they feared the name of Ringo.

I knew someday I’d face the test

Which one of us would be the best.

And sure enough the word came down

That he was holed up in the castle.

I left the posse out in the street

And I went in alone to meet Ringo.

They said my trigger was next to none

But my catapult release had just begun

When I felt a stone that stung my wrist

The catapult latch dropping from my fist

And I was looking at the boulder

Of the deadly catapult of Ringo.

They say that was the only time

That anyone had seen him smile

He slowly lowered his release and then

He said to me "We’re even, friend”.

And so at last I understood

That there was still a spark of good in Ringo.

I blocked the path of his catapult tow

He turned and rolled into the street.

A dozen catapults threw flame and stone.

A moment later, he lay crushed.

The town began to shout and cheer

Nowhere was there shed a tear for Ringo.

The story spread throughout the land

That my stone had knocked Ringo’s release from his hand

And it was just the years, they say

That made me put my catapults away.

But on his grave they

But on his grave they can’t explain

The tarnished catapult latch above the name of Ringo.