Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 23, 2019

  1. Cyan
    monkeysky  over 5 years ago

    I envy these kids who have never seen a squirrel poop

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    enigmamz  over 5 years ago

    Gimli mentioned it in The Two Towers….

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    Dtroutma  over 5 years ago

    He just needs to check my garage when the squirrels have been in, or in extreme cases, might find squirrel and poop in the engine compartment of his car, making a nest.

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    sirbadger  over 5 years ago

    Don’t let the cute face divert you from the fact that it is silently pooping while looking at you.

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    fuzzbucket Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Relax, Danae. We’ve never seen you poop, either.

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    awgiedawgie Premium Member over 5 years ago

    I’m actually glad that I haven’t witnessed many animals pooping. As long as I can avoid the poop itself, I’m happy.

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    kaffekup   over 5 years ago

    Does a squirrel poop in the woods? Of course, but not if anyone’s looking.

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    Enter.Name.Here  over 5 years ago

    Lack of observation is not evidence of fact. Have you ever seen Danae poop?

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  9. Trollspry
    Enter.Name.Here  over 5 years ago

    Lack of observation is not evidence of fact. Have you ever seen Danae poop? Or is she a bad example to use? ;-)

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    Watcher  over 5 years ago

    Poop is poop. It has it benefits and it’s drawbacks, but it is a necessity and Jeffrey, just check the bottom of yours shoes sometime. You’re always out in the woods.

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    RichardDaly1  over 5 years ago

    Wiley, how can someone come up with something this funny and also come up with Nebish?

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    dadoctah  over 5 years ago

    I’ve never seen pigeons have sex either, but the sheer number of pigeons around suggests they must be doing so somewhere.

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    Aussie Down Under  over 5 years ago

    Is Jeffrey finally out on a limb on this one? Maybe he needs to branch out. Could be he needs to talk with a stool pigeon.

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Well darn. Now you got me to thinking. There are a lot of things I never saw my parents do, but here I am.

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    feverjr Premium Member over 5 years ago

    I’ve never seen squirrels analyze and solve the many puzzles that bird-feeders have become but I know they do…

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    Lyons Group, Inc.  over 5 years ago

    The constipation rate with them must be really high! (Sorry, I hope any of you aren’t eating as I’m posting this!)

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    Bob.  over 5 years ago

    When I was young, way back when, a squirrel figured out I carried nuts in my jacket pocket. I sat down and Mr. S crawled up and started searching the pocket. He found what he wanted.

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    Nathan Daniels Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Don’t know why she’s so bummed out. Pooping is incredibly enjoyable.

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    PoodleGroomer  over 5 years ago

    I just swept up around the bird feeder. There is plenty of squirrel poop.

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    ChazNCenTex  over 5 years ago

    Don’t know if I have either. Unless, those aren’t pecans they’re dropping on our heads!

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    Masterskrain  over 5 years ago

    With Danae, Dad knows that sometimes it’s best NOT to ask…

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    unfair.de  over 5 years ago

    The droppings I encountered from the squirrels in my backyard were walnutshells. For the other stuff I guess they managed to get the birds blamed.

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    johnschutt  over 5 years ago

    It used to be that comics were funny. Now they, like the rest of our culture, are sinking to the lowest common denominator.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Isn’t it interesting that you can say “poop” and “pee” in polite society but still get stared down if you use the exact synonyms “shit” and “piss”? (Not even gonna get into “screw”.)

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    BiathlonNut  over 5 years ago

    Weirdness of Western culture.

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    V45mikky  over 5 years ago

    Save on toilet paper. But do you want to be constipated for the rest of your short life.

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    LisaApollo42  over 5 years ago

    I had to search where do squirrels poop. It was rather interesting.

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    Jaqi Thompson Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Dear Mr. Miller: where are you going with this squirrel poop line? Jeffrey is too smart to hypothesize about this.BTW, squirrels poop on my deck often. Their turds are like rat turds, only round. (Rat turds are torpedo-shaped.) Squirrels appear to poop one to three turds at each go.And squirrels sometimes have pooping problems. The smart female I call Clara Fluffbutt visited last week with a 6-inch long, dark rod sticking out of her ass. I talked to her about it as she gobbled her usual two walnut halves. Sure enough, she left it behind for me.It was a continuous dried, shriveled line of 13 turds connected like beads on a string. Ewww!

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    Dtroutma  over 5 years ago

    The squirrels in my pasture have no problem with pooping and being observed, come on by, Jeffery.

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    anomaly  over 5 years ago

    I have a theory that Jeffrey needs to work on his observational skills.

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    KEA  over 5 years ago

    Wish it were true for geese.

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    1953Baby  over 5 years ago

    Ah, danae, so you really ARE full of. . .

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    saje49  over 5 years ago

    Maybe if you looked in their tree house you’d find a little tiny toilet.

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    Redd Panda  over 5 years ago

    Maybe nocturnal evacuations?

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    bakana  over 5 years ago

    Prey species tend to Hide when pooping because that’s when they are most Vulnerable to Predators.

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    levekk  over 5 years ago

    I’m 77 and I’ve never seen one poop. And I don’t miss it.

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    MikeJ  over 5 years ago

    Years ago, I was training my dachshund to use a litter pan, but without very much success. The litter pan was right next to the toilet, so one morning I aimed momentarily a bit to the right, and my dog immediately got the idea and started peeing in the litter box.

    That worked out so well, that I thought… well, why not?

    (This is a bit gross.) I placed a very small portion of my own #2 in the litter box and waited for my dog to get the idea.

    She dove enthusiastically into the litter box, and before I could react, promptly gobbled down the “sample.” I was torn between being totally grossed out, and smacking myself in the head for not foreseeing the possible outcome.

    No doggy kisses that night…

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