Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 24, 2019

The trees are alive, with the sound of lawsuits.

They are Wiley Bears in disguise.

Real ones wouldn’t put up a warning sign. They just sneak up on you

Adds credence to the idea that there are too damn many law schools!

Don’t feed them or they’ll follow you home.

One lawyer in town makes a good living. Two lawyers in town both make a great living

To repeat an old joke, California got all the lawyers, while New Jersey got the toxic waste dumps. New Jersey got the better end of the deal!

Please have your lawyers spayed or neutered.

Wiley Lawyers!

Somebody had to say it.

Q: What do you call two doctors and two lawyers in town

A: A golf club

They are definitely novices. There’s not much money in slipping & falling in a public park.

Gotta pay back those loans somehow.

If Supply and Demand was allowed to work, the prices would theoretically drop.

Q: How many Lawyer Jokes ARE there?

A: 3…All the rest are true stories!!

Isn’t “feral lawyers” a redundancy?

Beware, if you don’t feed them they will feed on you. Lawyers gotta make a living too you know.

It’s only 99% of lawyers that give the remaining ones a bad name.

What is the problem if a lawyer is buried to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.

Don’t use a bird dog to flush them out. Use an ambulance.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a lawyer? No one knows. There are some things a pig just won’t do.

So… When does feral lawyer hunting season start, and what’s the bag limit? http://luciphurrsimps.com/2009/12/25/20091016-prow1s3/

They occasionally come in handy when you have to make a will or need other legal advice.

Whats the difference between wing tips and cowboy boots?

One has the bullshit on the outside.

Ok…remember to give ME the credit here:

Wiley bears + wiley lawyers = great fun!

Should be good for at least 2 years of comics!

I grew up in a family of lawyers. They were honest to a fault, if thoroughly neurotic, and specialized in defending working class folks. As a result, I don’t always find lawyer jokes funny. Pity!

Look, an escheat of lawyers!

That looks like Petey being walked.

Hurry. Call the exterminator.

Like the legal eagle up in the tree.

You know, the few times I’ve actually had to consult a lawyer, I’ve never gotten preyed upon. Maybe that only means they could see I had nothing to take. .

You may remember the 2015 future in Back To The Future? All lawyers have been abolished. Justice moves swiftly there with long stretches in prison.

“In one respect at least the Martians are a happy people, they have no lawyers.” ― Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Princess of Mars

Notre Dame alone just set loose 222 lawyers on the world.

Are you allowed to shoot them?

Damn, more lawyers every year. A few more generations and every person in the US will either be a lawyer or a close relative of one.

Shake a tree and a lawyer will fall out!

https://bestfriends.org/blogs/2017/08/17/community-cats-lawyer-up Feral cats lawyer-up.

You can identify them by the notches in their ears.

reminds me of the line in Tom Paxton’s song “One Million Lawyers”. (c.1985)

Oh, a suffering world cries for mercyAs far as the eye can see.Lawyers around every bend in the road,Lawyers in every tree,

Lawyers, guns, and money!

Nice one Wiley

Someone call the Orkin Man!

“Watch for feral lawyers.” As if there’s another kind.

I once hired a person with a law degree (but could not find work in that field) to put some siding on my house. I explained very carefully with examples and made him do one while I watched how I wanted it done. Then I went away. Then I came back, took down his work and put it up right. He was a lawyer for sure: He threatened to sue me since I declined to pay.

The other day I read about an experiment that showed that more than 90% of the profession of lawyer can be automated with AI.