Pickles by Brian Crane for July 30, 2019

AKA cattails

(Cattail roots don’t taste bad.)

You need sheep dogs to herd sheep. You need cow dogs to herd cows. But you don’t need corn dogs to herd corn. That’s why they end up on a stick.

Now good luck finding a plant that grows bottles of French’s mustard to go with those wild corn dog plants.

Earl must be part British. They refer to those plants as Wild Corn Dogs.

Earl where would one find the wild “Hamburger” plant …. with fries ;-)

That sounds like something Calvin’s Dad would say.

When you don’t know the answer Earl, make something up — quick!

The cattails will be full on in a short while here…

Bad Grampa.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy, was he? Earl reminds me of my Uncle….always telling us fantasy stories and keeping our interest…

and Spanish moss is wild toilet paper….New word for today: Chiggers!

nice going, Earl…now you know he’s going to want to eat one!

Albert Schweitzer he ain’t.

yeah, but don’t eat the corn dog part…

“That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it!”

I sense a little cotton mouth coming on.

They are edible if picked green. So are the roots and stems.

The kid’s going to be WARPED Earl !!! lol

He sounds like Calvin’s dad.

cut off the whole length-dip “corn dog” in kerosene-light! – makes great torches!

Bad Grandpa!

When I lived in Chatham NJ in 1946, we were no too far from the Great Swamp where my mother would go to pick blue berries. I had a grade school friend who lived close to this area. We go down to the marshy area to pick treasured cat tails or “punks” to burn & ward off clouds of mosquitoes. Reaching for a huge prize cat tail my friend Bruce yelled rattler! Never ran so fast in total terror!

Missed a fun learning moment.. pick a few, soak them in diesel and you have a fine torch

So that’s why corn dogs taste so terrible! We used to get them at the state fair when I was a kid, & I could never understand the appeal. 8-P

Grandpas “know” everything.!I thought the best one every was Newton giving himself a grandpa haircut. That theme didnt last long enough.

Maybe Earl could prepare a packet of these for Nelson: https://www.seriouseats.com/images/20091112-donutseeds.jpg

They do look and taste the same. No, I haven’t eaten cattails – but I did try a corn dog. They look too much alike for it to be a coincident.

Yum!

Oh Grandpa !!!! You are the best !! lmao

Add a little mustard and your all set.

They look like corn dogs, sort of, but they feel like the softest velvet. Quite pleasant. And, I’ve been told, the fuzz was used in creating diaper-like things by the natives who were lucky enough to have access to them.

Classic grandpa ruse