Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 29, 2019

I’ll take my chances with Jimmy. The autopilot does most of the work.

I wonder where Rat is going on this vacation?

“Now, do you want wings with your plane, or will you just hope it rolls in the general direction you wanted to go?”

Rat, no matter what you do, they will find a way to up-charge you.

“I like Brawndo. Do you like Brawndo?”

Good thinking, Rat. That’s the Spirit . . . Airlines.

So “I’m feeling lucky” is a step up from “Basic Economy w/ Jimmy.”

Basic Economy Pilot Jimmy learned how to fly a plane by watching YouTube videos.

NTSB will not investigate Basic Economy flight incidents, and all insurance, except OUR Basic Economy Flight Insurance (a mere $7,500 for $10,000 coverage), is automatically void and null.

Yes, this is what it is coming to!!!

Why I haven’t flown anywhere in 40 years.

Take the Bus and leave the driving to us ! … Croc Power !

All of those things that they charge extra for now, like luggage and meals, were never free. They were included in the price of the ticket. They’re still included in the price of the ticket, so now you’re paying for them twice. The same has happened ag grocery stores that used to give you “free” bags, that they now charge you for. The price of the bag is figured into the price of the things you buy, so you’re paying for the bag twice. The wages of the person at the check out counter are also figured into the prices of the products you buy, so when you use the self-serve checkout, your paying his wages and then doing his job for him.

I’m a land mammal…and now you know why.

Oh and extra if you don’t want to sit next to a screaming baby, unruly child, or obese person that does not want the armrest down.

IF I CAN’T DRIVE THERE, I AIN’T GOING!!!!

Air is extra charge. And you don’t even wanna know how much the oxygen masks would be.

That does it! No more flying for me! Especially the last time I got a bag of pretzels….with three Mini pretzels in it….RIP OFF!

Pretty soon most planes will be SRO (Standing Room ONLY)!

Air Greyhound.

90% of Pastis’ comics are funny and 10% of them are him being an idiot. An economy airline is great for a no frills experience when you don’t have a lot of luggage.

jeebus! don’t give them any ideas for new upcharges!!

I’d like the “Sully” upgrade, please.

Then make sure you’re flying an Airbus.

Me fly Croc Airlinz. Capt. Larry very gud. He share beer wit all us. Land in wrong town, but have lots of beer. Try Croc Airlinz.

Well, you can have your basic economy sir. But we will have to charge you taxes.

Acme Air, Wile E. Coyote’s first choice.

As party chief, I had to ask the pilot why he landed our survey plane, wheels up, in the Sahara Desert. He replied, “The gas gauge said empty, but I didn’t believe it.” There are other stories, but sadder endings.

ACME AIR! Wonder if they’re the ones who delivered all the gizmos and explosives to Wylie Coyote?

The truth is he wouldn’t have to deal with a real person trying to up-sell him, but a computer screen.

I haven’t flown in a while. Has it really gotten that bad?

These airlines are always trying to fleece us.

You can buy extra leg space for $150. Storing your legs in the baggage compartment (since they certainly won’t fit in front of the seat) is only $50.

Would you like to add the maintenance upgrade as well?

As a retired airline pilot, this is one of Pastis’ best works.

Was that 5 shots, or 6?

Do you feel lucky punk?

Not too far from the truth. If airlines adopt the pilot upgrade I’m taking the train.

I usually skip over the long winded rat strips but the pilot was very funny.

Mr. Rat, would you like to sit in the swearing or non-swearing section ?!!!!lol

This is scary…. very, very scary.

Clark Howard was talking about those exact fees on his show this weekend! United, Delta and American are doing it to the hilt. Apparently, Southwest doesn’t . I don’ t care to fly EVER again, more fun to drive now that I have the time!

Will I be required to flap my arms for the entire flight?

Why I don’t fly anymore. I drive.

Angel flying too close to the ground.

My name is Jim and that looks remarkably like me, except my boxers aren’t pink. I assume Pastis had to change it so I wouldn’t sue him. Too bad. I like to make the planey plane go boom. I mean zoom.

I’ve upgraded to trains or just drive-myself. Slower, more dangerous (the driving part), and actually more expensive by the time you add in meals and motels… but not only do I avoid the noxious TSA experience, the noxious narrow seats without enough foot room, and the noxious co-passengers, I also get much better service (when I drive) and food.

I’m out of here until Pastim learns to spell at least at the eighth grade level. I doubt that will ever happen.

“Acme Air.” That would be “AA.” Hmm.

I wonder if Cartoon-Boy had a recent Bad Experience flying?

Of course, as the strip shows only in part, all flying experiences are bad these days (unless you’re super-rich and fly First Class all the time)….

He could get Dogbert.

A certain Seinfeld episode comes to mind.

ahh, Spirit Airlines I see.

And now there are airlines charging for carry-on bags and charging to choose your seat.