Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 21, 2019

  1. Crankyc
    franki_g  about 5 years ago

    The Jack-You_Been-Laid-Off.

    Not one of Mattel’s most popular products, but you’d be surprised at it’s impact.

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    Dtroutma  about 5 years ago

    HR needs to keep a defibrillator handy?

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    jmworacle  about 5 years ago

    Sadly, the best way to do it is like a band aid remobal. Just tear the sucker off….

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    Yakety Sax  about 5 years ago

    Cheers “Norm fires people”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EHKjlLeUFo

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=888DJKMT8bw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blvr_zrkHYE

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    Watcher  about 5 years ago

    No more bills to worry about or pain in the ass bosses.

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    braindead Premium Member about 5 years ago

    Don’t you just do it by tweet these days?

    .

    #TraitorTrump

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    Cpeckbourlioux  about 5 years ago

    Ever notice that all his business executives have a bottle and a couple of glasses nearby?

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    keenanthelibrarian  about 5 years ago

    Doesn’t have to worry about paying him any more. Two birds with one stone, as it were.

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    mommavamp  about 5 years ago

    Oh No! It’s the baleful clown. (See Cul-de-Sac)

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    Ontman  about 5 years ago

    Ask Petey from ‘Cul de Sac’ for a cinder block.

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    ChristineMurphy  about 5 years ago

    Got laid off beginning of December once. Boss told me it was good news, I’d have so much more time for Christmas shopping.

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    Zebrastripes  about 5 years ago

    They don’t say a word they just scare the ….. out of you!

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    J Quest  about 5 years ago

    Out of the box thinking…

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    walstib Premium Member about 5 years ago

    I was laid off, then downsized, then rightsized, then impacted. Different jargon, but same result each time.

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    boydjb47  about 5 years ago

    The elevation of HR departments has created more issues then it has solved.

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    Masterskrain  about 5 years ago

    H.R.= Horribly Repulsive.

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    DanFlak  about 5 years ago

    Mostly people who get laid off are victims of their own success. You do well in a job and you are rewarded with pay raises. You stay with the company for a number of years and you max out on vacation time.

    Then when the cost-cutting, bean-counters check the books, you get cut because you are too expensive. In my last company 10%-25% of the most senior people in their positions were cut. Now the company is re-advertising their jobs. It’s business and it is a model that works. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it. I tolerate it only because I’ve been through it several times.

    I was cut after 17 years with the same company, but that is by no means a record. I know two women who lost their jobs after over 30 years and two people who lost theirs at 40 years. So much for company loyalty.

    So when us old farts complain about millennials changing jobs every couple of years, we might want to keep this corporate loyalty in mind. Perhaps they have the right idea.

    Me? I’m looking for a new job where I can “run out the clock until retirement.” That may be 3-5 years down the road. Not that I would ever mention that in the interview. My stock answer is “As long as I am productive and feel like I am making a contribution to the company.”

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    sandpiper  about 5 years ago

    Realization has come slowly in the past 70 years to the average worker. There is not and has never been a thing called company or employer loyalty At least, not among the giants. It was a myth fostered by those who most benefited from the telling. Employees mostly resemble bullets in an auto-loader: fire one round and another fills the chamber in seconds. The memory of each disappears with the smoke. Welcome to the 99%. What is not a myth is that the 1% self-eject when ready and float away on the proverbial golden parachute. Sad but true.

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    1953Baby  about 5 years ago

    Please. . .Wiley . .as if ANY CEO or HR department actually CARES about delivering this kind of news in a “nice” way. . .

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    The Old Wolf  about 5 years ago

    “Knock knock?”

    “Who’s there?”

    Not you anymore."

    Always do it with humor.

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    For a Just and Peaceful World  about 5 years ago

    The bird mooning the H. R. guy is a nice touch.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member about 5 years ago

    It’s not just HR departments:

    “That’s grim, Doc. How much time do I have left?”

    “10”

    “10 what?”

    “… 9 … 8 … 7 … 6 …”

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    anomaly  about 5 years ago

    Actually, that’s a nicer way than any time I’ve been laid off.

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    Honorable Mention In The Banjo Toss Premium Member about 5 years ago

    Similar to how cabinet secretaries are terminated, except the comic has a better-looking clown.

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    the lost wizard  about 5 years ago

    Is he technically still covered by the company health plan?

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    Bicycle Dude  about 5 years ago

    I like the guy’s tongue hanging out. It reminds me of what my friends, who worked in the Emergency Room of a local hospital, would describe unconscious patients brought into the ER. They were either Os or Qs. The guy laying on the floor is definitely a Q.

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    dsjwriter  about 5 years ago

    Considering the tune that those boxes play, the HR exec is abigger weasel than the one inside the box.

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    Concretionist  about 5 years ago

    When there’s a round of layoffs, everybody knows it: There’s just a miasma of doom all ’round the company. But nobody says anything until you get the call to come see HR  and you know your name came up.

    After going through this 3 times, at different companies, the next time it became obvious, I just packed up everything and sat around reading a novel. Sure ’nuff, when I showed up to HR with my box of kitch and my special keyboard, they were briefly flummoxed, but thanked me for making their job easier.

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    morgankhat  about 5 years ago

    Ah yes, Human Relations – A solution looking for a problem.

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    bakana  about 5 years ago

    There used to be a place in Orlando where, finding out that the Boss had just invited everyone Else on staff out for a long lunch but You were not included was how people found out they’d been fired.

    While everyone else was having a nice lunch, the Unlucky were told to pack up and be Gone before Lunch was over.

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    IanRosemergy  about 5 years ago

    Or try the other way and bring a clown with you (New Zealand 2019) https://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=12267350

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    Teto85 Premium Member about 5 years ago

    HR sucks.

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    SrTechWriter  about 5 years ago

    Worse was being told by the HR rep at Control Data that I was being fired for cause after 6 years of exemplary reviews. He would not discuss why, or any particulars. Further, my all my employment records were sealed and sent to a storage facility to which I could not gain access. I told him bluntly that if anyone CDC ever said I was fired for cause, I would sue them. That was CDCs first round of layoffs.

    A week later, my new employer called to confirm my employment, and was told the duration and that I had been fired for cause. A friend of mine was an attorney. As a favor, for $1 he sent a registered letter to Bill Norris, stating that I was entering a suit for defamation to the tune of $75K, a largish sum in 1974. Norris personally replied with a written apology, and offered me $10K to forget it. I deposited the check the next day, and it cleared. After that, verification inquiries got my dates of employment and nothing more.

    My brother also worked there. He got caught in the third round of layoffs, when they tried firing (among others) over 1,000 employees who were over 50 “for cause”. 173 of them entered a specific class-action suit for age discrimination, challenging CDC to prove otherwise. CDC made the mistake of taking it into court instead of settling for the requested aggregate $800,000. The judge cut CDC’s high-priced lawyer off after 5 minutes, ordering the company to show cause (from specific employee records) why that many older employees had been released “for cause”. CDC absolutely did not want those records opened, and took 2 large fine hit for failure to respond and violation of a court order. Jury awarded the plaintiffs $1,850,000 to be split equally. Also ordered CDC to pay full retirement benefits and stock investment returns. That meant my brother immediately became vested in his stock, which he promptly sold just a week before the stock plunged to under $1 a share.

    Laws are there – you just have to know how to use them.

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