Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for February 01, 2021

Okay, I’ll do it for a couple of pints and a burger.

It doesn’t say you have to slap them hard. Yu can slap your friend, tell them you were slapping a mosquito and then collect your $2000. Why not?

I’d do it for free if I could use a fish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8XeDvKqI4E

I’d do anything for free food. Okay, almost anything.

Is that 2 million or 2 thousand? There’s an oddly placed period in there.

What will she do for a box of wine?

What are you willing to do for a Klondike Bar?

I have an idea for a contest. The challenge is issued to anyone who is in public office. “What are you willing to do for a campaign donation?” I come up with some debasing activity that the political figure has to preform to collect the prize such as swimming naked in raw sewerage.

Now I would not use that specific activity for two reasons: 1. I do not want to submit the person to a dangerous activity and 2. There are many public figures who, if seen naked by the public, would traumatize them. Imagine a naked Mitch McConnell. I think only someone with a mind like Steven King can.

The bidding to perform this “honor” will start at $250,000 and the winner of the contest is the lowest bid. How low can you go? To make it fair in the later rounds, bidding will be done in 25 cent increments. How much are you willing to sell out your dignity for money?

You could charge more, due to the scarcity of “friends” in your life!

Aunty, are the headaches getting worse again?

I would slap my worst enemy & pretend it’s my best friend in order to get the $!

If it really was my best friend, they’d let me hit them, then we’d go out for beer & cheeseburgers.

Loveslap!

I absolutely would! It didn’t specify how HARD the slap had to be (and since I’m a staunch Republican and she’s a Socialist, I feel like slapping her a lot of the time ANYWAY)

I’d settle for just having a best friend.

No way! He’s a lot bigger than me!

My second-best friend, absolutely. Then I’d explain why I did it, and split the prize.

Or just the burger.

$2,000.000?

I’d do it for free! Just to start something. It has been WAY too quiet this past year!

I would do it, but only if he LETS me. Also, I’m willing to give him the opportunity to slap me back. And then we can split it.

“$2,000.000”? Either there’s a slipped comma or an extra 0, and I’m not sure which lol

Another example of lack of mathematical knowledge! 3 zeros behind the decimal point?

Is that supposed to be 2 million or 2,000?

I’d want $400. I’m not a big Cheeseburger consumer.

Unless it’s Mushroom & Swiss Cheese burger.

I would do it only for the cheeseburger if it has bacon on it

Sure I would. Then, being the nice guy I am, I’d split the money with him.