Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for March 05, 2021

(wondering, offhand, whether when Vic finds this out his next nickname will be the “Con-TEASE-a”)

I sense the beginnings of a comeuppance and a valuable lesson to be learned.

The Beauty is a Beast.

‘Cause like a forward she was playing there

Bright lights dancing off her hair

She told me, “Why don’t you talk to the hand?”

She won’t love me in my grandpa van

That’s not all right with me

P1 so much going on in this locker room – CK cuts to the heart of the matter with Tessi Tease’s attitude toward Vic as her right hand balls up into a fist of rage along with the right open palm both getting ready to open a can of whoopa$$ on the countessa

Meanwhile standing girl is awaiting sitting girl’s answer to her invitation to loofah each other, but sitting girl is distracted trying to figure if pictures and video can be taken on her new 2001 model cell phone

P2 Ummmm okay, a lot. I’m tooo sexy and this story arc too insipid to just ask Vic if he would be willing to be the team’s PA announcer

P3 Teammates are shocked at Tessi’s comment suddenly realizing she has never seen or been to the back of Vic’s van, much less have any idea how skilled Vic with his crutch, that rig isn’t rocking in the school parking lot because the springs and shocks are bad

Sadly for Tessi, that ship has sailed, the MILFord mom’s have discovered Vic

In true Gil Thorp comic strip fashion, Tessie winds up going to the Prom with VD (that’s Vic Doucette you pervs).

Oh brother. That’s so shallow

Weeks later, with Tess out of the way, all the others girls sports an A Team tattoo after “riding” with Vic and pities the fool.

https://youtu.be/xPNxffQGpGo

Right. It’s the ride that a problem.

In all reality , P3 the girl holding the M shirt thinks Hell Yeah, I’d like a ride in Vic’s van while the other girls think Oh No, don’t go serial killers all drive older model vans.

Anyone remember when Gil Thorp was about Sports??

Nearby, Tommy Turner, President of The Knothole Gang, is about to commit moral turpitude.

Epiphany in 3… 2… 1…

Actually, CK and her mom probably don’t have a car, so she wouldn’t care what kind of van or car she got a ride in

She’s got a ticket to ride and she don’t care. Be well my friends. Have an awesome day.

Day 90 of Moon Held Hostage. Rumor has it he has been seen conspiring with CK to plot the perfect revenge for the Conteaser and Vickie D. It involves a “mysterious” fire in a grandpa van, freeing the Moonman to return to the Milford airwaves and allowing CK the Bruiser to return to prominence on the court (and in the strip).

Coaches Held Hostage: Mimi, Day 44; Kaz, Day 34.

P1, Corina, “You think you’re hot sh*t but I had all the football team’s QB’s after me, b*tch!”

P2, Tessi’s left breast attempts a half-hearted comeback.

P3, Tessie dives headfirst into the shallow end of the pool.

I can’t wait for the next time Tessi scores

So now Corina goes off on Tessie?

Hey….some of my best friends are Grandpas! And when that van gets a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’…well, you can, there’s probably nothing going on.

OK, so hot, popular, probably much taller high school girl won’t date nerd because of car issues.

P 4 (CK’s voice): “…hell yeah I would! ….it’s a lot easier bein’ on your back in a van than it is in some of these little cars some of these guys drive now-a-days….”

Real me didn’t learn how to drive until I was about 20. I needed more time to get the hang of the mechanics of driving. First car was a 1974 AMC Hornet, the worst POS ever assembled by human hands.

Gasp!

I wonder if it will be a “Wak” or a “Clank” when CK’s fist connects with Teasie’s face.

P1: Someone should knock that crooked smile off CK’s face….she looks like a Mrs. Potato Head with the mouth gone wrong.

Who T.H. is CK to give Tessie s**t? She basically did the same thing to those football players to get what she wanted and more than “a little” too

You’d think by now Milford would have a more modern shower facility for the athletes. I’m assuming there are only about 2 shower stalls. As typical post-game, one girl is showered, dried, dressed. Another showered and dressed, but doing her hair. Another just got out of the shower and is covering herself with an apparent Milford monogrammed bath towel. (Classy!) And we have at least two players who are still in uniform waiting for their turn!

And speaking of waiting for their turn, you do not need to wait for your turn to read today’s Mopped Up Thorp. Just head on over right now!

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

So I assume Tessi is hoping for Doug to ask her out, since he has the coolest car on campus. That’s all the matters!

I like the startled gasps from her teammates in P3. In reality, half of them would agree in real life. But it’s CK to the rescue, in a plot twist that ̶n̶o̶b̶o̶d̶y̶ everybody saw coming. A verbal smackdown coming tomorrow! She’s been waiting all season for this moment, to prove to her clueless classmates that Tessi is a fake.