Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 04, 2021

Also: You carry your weight so well.

No loading time needed for the sarcastic comment. (based on a shirt i saw)

How come the woman has no hair?

Ouch.

No, your ass makes your ass look big.

Well, you should see what them expensive cameras can do nowadays.

Dang! It’s so hard to give a compliment these days.

Does this book come with any alternative things to say?

(… not that they could be “trusted” coming from Rat)

For an average mind, Pig is below average.

“You don’t look too bad in the pictures "!

“That’s quite cleaver, coming from you.”

Industry secret:

PHOTOSHOP and almost anyone photographs well.

“You look nice today!”

They always used to say the camera adds ten pounds.

The Book should be called “How to Offend, Rat Style”

I believe the canonical example of an honest but unusable compliment is “say, you don’t sweat much for a fat chick!”

{Like} {Thumbs up} :D

Hey, is that a yes?

No, you don’t look fat in that dress.

Actually, pigs are actually pretty smart.

“That’s quite a book you’ve got there, Rat.”

Sometimes Rat’s cynicism can be useful.

“What an interesting outfit you’re wearing today!”

(Heard spoken to a woman): I love how you died your eyebrows brown to contract with your blonde hair…

Wow… Rat said Pig has an average mind.

…actually , to anybody who wishes to be a model, that would be a compliment…

“No, photos make most people look worse than they are.”

" You look really good … for someone your age! "

“This picture makes you look thinner”

That’s a really good picture. It doesn’t even look like you.

I might answer that trick question by saying “Some cameras make you look ugly. Robert Redford probably looks ugly in his DMV picture. But the camera likes you, and. . .” No. That gambit isn’t leading anywhere. Rat’s right.

The response to that compliment-deflection is “your photos make you look almost as good as you do in real life.”

For a comic writer, Pastis is pretty clever.

Two lady besties, yup!

Great photo; reminds me what a handsome fellow you used to be.

I love the things like this that dad does

Good for you!

I have always photographed horribly. It’s like looking at a different (aged 10 years) person. I remember once seeing a photograph of myself and bursting into tears. I asked my husband if I really look like that. His judicious response was “Of course not, honey.”

No, it’s not the dress that makes you look fat…

It was so nice of you to drop by, please come again when you can’t stay so long.

A coworker used to call me “the master of the backhanded compliment.”

No doubt you said the coworker’s results were “surprisingly good”

I photograph good- and that has made all the difference.

Rat displays a level of subtlety I never knew he had.

Hey! I want my money back! Rat is actually giving Good Advice, and Pig is really understanding things?

Where’s today’s real PBS?

If you look weird from the side, you photograph well.