Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for July 05, 2021

No wonder the Fink’s army was shrinking.

You might need to have your hearing checked, Wiz!

Is all that iron and bronze good for Henry’s system?

30 guards per day? and he gained only over a 100 pounds?

Now he will have to go on a low-guard diet.

Okay, maybe a no-guard diet. Probably a low-carb diet, too.

No wonder he’s looking happy….

Are carburetors low in calories, then?

erm? oops. :)

You want him to eat 30 carburetors a day ? Won’t that give him gas ? Ah, ha, ha ! Snark.

Ooh the wiz is getting up there I see

So if 30 guards weigh 100 pounds, (assuming the dragon hasn’t pooped that day yet), then that means each guard weighs just over 3 pounds. For an army 3 pound guards doesn’t sound too tough. I’d think they’d be easy pushovers!

Those poor guards… good luck recruiting any new ones

so, know anybody to spear so I can take his life and leave his family without income and unprotected? The dragon wants a snack

How many carbs can a guard, guard, if a guard could guard carbs?

30 guards a day? Seems extreme.

Well, at least Henry was keeping the Hun invasions down by thinning the herd.

It’s a wonder he can still walk…looks like his @$$ is dragon!

Oups, in trouble! I can relate to Wizard.

If he runs out of guards, can he have forwards and centers instead?

I assume Wiz was feeding Henry guards from another kingdom…

Better get your ears checked while you are here….

Must have run out of guards a long time ago.

I would attack the village now if I were you. They would be down 900 guards.

That caught Wiz off-guard!

That is a major oops.

ka-oops

Last I checked, there were zero carbs as well as zero calories in a guard. But, if some stray calories manage to show up, if you chew real hard, you can kill’em.

Guards are low carb!

Maybe the Wiz should put Henry on the helium diet. He’ll end up looking even fatter, but he’ll definitely lose weight!