Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 23, 2021

The Virus doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.

Covid will stop the day we’ll finish the Greek alphabet.

But being stuck indoors means more time to play with your choo-choo train!

People in 1918 and 1919 wished for Christmas those years back when it was influenza; good thing it ended the first months of 1920.

Rat: to the Elf that’ll do.

let’s hope everyone gets that this year!

Yes, Santa, you do make that: vaccine mandates, mask mandates, vaccination requirements for public activities.

And a lot of kids reading this strip ask, “What’s a train?”

Iris got the virus, Maxine got the vaccine, Scott got the shot, Rick got sick.

Although store Santas might have to talk to the occasional unhappy child with depressing gift requests, at least they’re not rats.

We sure are soft, aren’t we? I mean think about how your great grandparents would have coped with having to stay inside an air-conditioned home, get their groceries delivered, and work without much chance of being damaged by heavy equipment, horses, falling trees, buried coal…

For once, I agree with Rat!

Covid 19 stars in this season and last’s as Ground Hog Day ad nauseum. Book it for New Years too. Bring all its variant cousins along as if we have a choice Delta and OhmyGod variant , not you again puleeze..

No wonder alcohol is considered a good solution – it can make your troubles disappear – for a while, at least.

This Living History moment brought to you by “PBS” Thank – You Stephan :-)

Rat does need to ’medicated" once in a while!

Yeah! Let them be lost to political shenanigans, economies going down the drain, incomes eaten by inflation… and wars, of course… :D

booze will do

Saying on news, because of the fast spreading of omicron, NOT to gather for Christmas and NOT break out in song.

Gin and Rat can hang with the cat from Lio.

I don’t feel that I’ve “lost a crap year to COVID.” Yes, there were times when I was mildly inconvenienced by having to put on a mask to appease those who think a strip of cloth can stop a virus, but I live in a state where the leaders used a bit of common sense so it’s pretty much been business as usual for me, my friends, and my family.

I wish for that, too. I hate masks.

Not that I’ll skip it but it doesn’t help.

How about yet another booster shot? Like every three months. Whether he wants it or not. Or needs it. Pfizer Pfauci Pharmaceuticals Profit Profusely Promptly.

And Santa arose from the chimney and mounted his sleigh, and called out, “No more crap years for all, and for all a good night!”

Jack Daniels Stock went up three fold that night….

…a gift you have to make yourself.

crap years lost to covid are not as bad as good years lost to covid.

Eradicating COVID is a good Christmas wish.

Would you please get over yourself?!? Visit today’s Aunty Acid for some real-life stuff.

Why do you think Amtrak Brandon is letting so much fentanyl come into this country? Because the more “doped-up” people are, the less they care about reality. Yours is waiting on a street corner near you!

Viruses don’t have thoughts, hence have no beliefs. You cannot appeal and they don’t believe in you or me.

Come to think of it; no cell in you body knows you exist.

Traditions are only on hold. And not forgotten! Another Covid Christmas is almost too much to bear, though.

Perfect gift for Rat.

Rat wouldn’t be on the nice list to receive anything except a visit from Krampus.

My Christmas wish: NO MORE COVID!

My Second Christmas wish: all to be healthy and prosperous.

Look for “190 Proof” on the neckband.

End of covid means return to the office, so either way I’ll just take the booze.

Already have booze…I want people to drink it with!

The elves are useful assistants to have.

I think the COVID pandemic is the modern equivalent of the Flood… only it’s a bit more selective in selecting idiots for removal.

I don’t know about anyone else, but not much changed in my life due to the pandemic. It’s an introvert life, for me.

No one is wearing any masks

Best Santa Request!

How about a sixpack of Corona Extra.

Might help with the pain but is not a solution……

Choo Choo train kid… Pastis at five.

Leave him booze? Boy, that’s gonna cost a fortune to get enough for the whole year.

A year’s supply of fentanyl patches, delivered in one day increments.

George Dickel Tennessee Sour Mash. #12. Number 12!

I’ll take the bottle of booze. Just no cheap stuff, Santa. You blew it on my wish.

The way to have no more crappy years lost to COVID is to get rid of Fauci, Biden, and all the plutocratic tyrants who want to eliminate liberties under the guise of ending the pandemic.

Unlikely to happen

Santa has an easier time with requests for peace on earth.

When I played Santa for friend, my reward was bottle of tequila.

I’d like the same thing. But if it isn’t possible, can we eliminate all puns from GoComics?

Rat will probably be happy with the booze. Well, “happy” being relative to Rat.

Smart little helper-elf. Rat will be happy with the booze and Santa will be off the hook for an impossible gift!.

Santa, Inc., requires a lot of elven input to run smoothly….

We could have had a no crap year in 2021 if covidiots would get vaxxed.

The American Dream