That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 23, 2022

Four women whose gay-dar isn’t working.

John had had a very sheltered upbringing – first going to an all boys school, and then working in the family business. The first time a woman who wasn’t a family member touched him, he froze up, stiff as a board.

Women swooning over their new male robot toy.

Justin Timberlake moonlighting as a gigolo…

Go on, have a little wine. Maybe it will help you with that stutter. God knows your chances of getting a date with Elisabeth are bad enough, but if you can’t even get the words out then you’re done.

♬I’m too sexy for my tux.♬

His distaff companions have noticed his stiff staff… and want to do something about it… They know where Steff can stuff his stiff staff,

Olive Oyl, Betty Boop, Alice the Goon and Sea Hag all at once! Blow Me Down! Now where did I put that can of spinach?

Oh no! Twenty more minutes until the Viagra kick in!

I shouldn’t have had the habanero hellfire burrito at lunch.

I ordered and ate a dozen oysters, but only eleven of them worked…

In the glorious days of yore/

He’d have easily done all four -/

Now it’s sad, but it’s true/

He can barely do two/

And for three days his back is sore..///

He still finds it easy to score/

But it’s getting to be a bore/

And if it continues/

To strain the old sinews/

He may come to deem a chore..///

It’s the curse of the handsome bloke/

You know that you’re ready to croak/

When your search for variety/

Turns to anxiety*/)

And buddy, that ain’t no joke !

*”performance anxiety”

/// With four beauties behaving so “loose,”

he seems hesitant. What’s his excuse?

They say, “Drink from my cup!”

(Each hopes she’ll get knocked up.)

Shouldn’t lesbians, too, reproduce?

After his mother forced this twelfth party on him, John began to reconsider postponing his coming-out until he got his inheritance.

Damn it! I left the condoms at the hotel.

And that’s what happens when you doctor the punch with Spanish Fly.

The moment Reverend Coatsdale realized that finally, at age 28, he was about to lose his virginity. Unfortunately, something went amiss prematurely and he had to leave.

He wasn’t against an orgy. He just wished his sisters weren’t a part of it.

Roy Osgood, inventor of the “enhancement” pill

That is one weird painting!

The lady in back does declare / By what she’s holding up in the ait / That the oysters she ate / Could still be on her plate / Yet the gentlemen must needs beware!

With the wine flowing easy and free / She said, "Sir, take a good look at me. / Dispell all confusion! / What think’st thou of union / With one who seeks union wthe thee?’ (Pace Burton.)

Lucky stiff

At the family reunion formal dinner John soon realized his country cousins don’t see many single men.

The brief time when ‘The Body Clock Is Running Panic’ strikes.

Taking his final quaff of wine, Derek thought to himself, “I’ve a man’s work ahead of me this night!”

This painting’s entitled: The Temptation of Saint Lance Begay

It was amazing how quickly the word of his wealthy father’s passing spread!

Why?

It was a nice surprise but John was still disappointed. What was he to do on Friday, Saturday and Sunday?

Fredrick, is it true what they say about your Hooskie doo?

“Curse you, Tone Loc. I should never have tried your recipe for Funky Cold Medina.”

Rinaldo, the gay blade, was extremely annoyed that the bridesmaids got to the oysters before the groomsmen.

Being the head of one of the first ever movie studios would’ve been more satisfying had John not been gay.

“He may not be the Best Man, but he’ll do!”

What teen aged boys imagine happens, after they douse themselves in half a bottle of Axe.

Beware! In their secret meeting place in the Enchanted Forest, the gingers continue their evil plot to replace us!

What a piece of work is man!

Dr. Frankenstein did much better the second time around.

The Garden Of Armida or The Garden Party: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Mythological_paintings_by_John_Collier" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Yandex, Yahoo, and Bing search engines) in the address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and click the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Armida, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this circa 1899, roughly life size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2930 (May 23, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 12 works, by this artist, have been used here (13 times, with one different caption repeat). The September 12, 2019, strip has the prior. The artist info URLs in my comment there are among my blog comment’s here links.

They were all so drunk they didn’t realize he was a mannikin.

Nanny Ogg had served her famous oyster and carrot pie.

Why?….

Ted regretted accepting the invite to the bachelorette party.

The girls having some fun with gay Bob.

After she passed out, then we gave her a wedgie. Then we positioned her to sit like that … and then we drew all over her face …

But really … we are nice gals!

/// Women don’t act like this in real life.

With red flags this whole picture is rife.

The answer, of course,

is his messy divorce.

They’ve been hired by his not yet ex-wife.