Pluggers by Rick McKee for November 04, 2022

A lot of things come to mind.

if the zipper’s no longer zippable, time to get a new paper of trousers… or just go on a weight-losing diet and do some exercise to slim you down

Or continue the pandemic practice and wear sweat pants all the time. At some point, pluggers stop worrying about how they look and focus on comfort—but also cut back on “comfort food”.

How can he tell?

Well, it’s not as if something exciting is going to happen — or has just happened.

Grade school …. XYZ ;-)

Oops

Most pants used to come with a little locking spur on the pull tab that engaged the interlocking part of the zipper so it wouldn’t slide down accidentally. Don’t see it much any more on pants, especially blue jeans. Must have be a cost cutting measure to eliminate it.

That’s why many folks in Florida wear onesies with hook-n-loop closures. They close themselves.

Someone left the barn door open.

It’s okay, no one can see past your stomach anyway.

Especially a problem if you have to pee every 20 minutes.

Oh, oh.. There used to be another reason zipper was down a lot 20 years ago ;-p

One of the benefits of being a plugger, harmless.. a younger man would be escorted right out of the children’s playground.

He suffers from Dunlaps disease, his belly done lapped over his belt.

I think it was Confucius who said:" One must be aware of one’s fly, lest one get looks which are awry."

No worries. Not a young soldier standing at attention any longer. Now just an old veteran asleep on his duffle bags.

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull the zipper up, then you forget to pull the zipper down” — George Burns

A number of times over the past several years – always on a day we have gone out – he has suddenly noticed his fly is down – generally when he goes to the men’s room. I really should remember to tell him to check when we go out on our rare trips out these days.

As to weight – we both lost a good deal of weight during the first year plus of the pandemic. We are high risk and rarely went out and almost never have any luck with ordering things and having them delivered so we cut back drastically on what we ate to make it last longer and save us from going out more often – if it was, say, a frozen dish that had several pieces of meat item instead of splitting the dish and eating all of the meat we would eat one piece of the meat, peanut butter so thin I could see the bread through it, etc. Once we were slightly more comfortable going out and shopping for food (though we still do NOT go out as often or as long as we used to), we increased portions back to normal and regained the weight.