That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for November 07, 2022

As the battle raged, the lieutenant decided to lighten the mood by singing some Cole Porter.

/// From his dress we can see he’s patrician;

doesn’t have rifle or ammunition.

But he wields the best sword

men of means could afford,

for his dream was to be a magician.

/// He envisioned a fabulous act:

A young woman crouched low and was packed

in a basket of wicker.

With the sword he would stick her

then she’d stand up uncut and intact.

/// But he’d had little chance to rehearse,

His assistants would quit with a curse.

The sword never thrust through

as he wanted it to,

and the girls always needed a nurse.

Benny didn’t live long enough to realize it wasn’t a good idea to stop and pose for the painter in the middle of a battle.

Sergeant looking over his shoulder at the lieutenant and thinking ‘What the $&#$ are you doing, you inbred fop? We’re in the middle of a battle.’

Oh, yes, all of us officers wear these special hats, so you can easily identify us from a distance.

He wasn’t much of a swordsman, bout his ensemble was fabulous

Oh Sargent! Those men called me a sissy-boy!

“What? And stain this beautiful ensemble. Surely you gest.”

“that’s not a charm bracelet, you moron! Now, yes, get over there and fight!”

“Oh….Hello Monsieur Le Prince! Is it time for my portrait already? No, don’t worry that the battle is pressing onward over there to my right. We’re safe here…See, I have this lovely little black kitten tucked inside my shirt……and we all know everyone loves kittens!….Those barbarians wouldn’t dare risk hurting this little kitty. So now that we are perfectly safe, you may continue with my portrait.”

“Sorry to interrupt. I got this silly thing caught in my sleeve. Could you help me?”

“Guy, my.sword is much longer, you cr**p!

Feast your eyes upon its length and go weep!”

And so in foolish horseplay

Foppingay stabbed a leg, so they say,

Because his sword in its sheath he did not keep.

.

The point of the sword went through his thigh

Even so he did not groan or cry.

“The skilled camp doctor will soon fix ‘er

That strong mixture in his elixir …”

And the brave fool passed out, with a sigh…

.

Foppingay fought the war no more

His leg went septic and lay on the floor

Of the field hospice so far away

And there it lies to this blessed day

In grave soil that is France evermore.

.

Yet sometimes he feels a twinge

From the phantom limb, and a cringe

Creases across his handsome face,

A call in Time from that bloody place

From whence his life did thenceforth hinge.

.

Guy, his friend did not return from there

It did not seem just or Godly fair

That he should stay while Foppingray

Should get near totally away!

D—n War! Why let me escape your snare?

What is this object of dread/

The lieutenant wears on his head ?/

Might it be a cannoli/

He won at Napoli/

In a hailstorm of flying lead ?

“They went that-away!”

Mannequin used as target practice before the battle…

what the French did on D-Day.

The final time Irv was allowed to design the camouflage

I see the joke here and laugh. But in reality, they’re called dummy cords. At US Army Ranger school, you tied important stuff to your person, including your weapon, so you wouldn’t loose them, especially in high stress situations, or the more common, walking like a zombie because you haven’t had more than a couple hours of sleep in 3 or 4 days.

There was something about a battle that made Lonnie break out in his Time Warp dance routine.

This is funny, Steve. Thanks!

Those who signed up for the battle scene to stage left, those in the big dance number to stage right.

He’s got the Dress For The Job You Want thing down pat.

Of course I’ll receive the infamous Four Feathers from my comrades! But imagine how fabulously they’ll accent the feather already on my hat! OH, SAY FELLOWS – I SURRENDER!

Dad made him come to the re-enactments, but he couldn’t make him take them seriously.

King, “Boy, get in there and get your picture painted so history will think of my son as a great warrior!” Prince, " But dad, I just wanna sing and dance with the soldier boys after the battle."

This painting is part of the ‘Memorable Day In Transgender History’ collection.

“If anyone needs to use the facilities first, they’re right over there.”

“I hope they vote me “Best Dressed”."

Inspiration for the Carpathian Sabre Dance.

kind of thing my mom would do

It is called a COCKADE!!!

Private Guillotine carrying his portable tool and basket.

Portrait of General François Marceau des Graviers (1769-1796): 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Le_Prince_-_Portrait_du_g%C3%A9n%C3%A9ral_Fran%C3%A7ois_Marceau_des_Graviers_(1769-1796)_-_P1475_-_Mus%C3%A9e_Carnavalet.jpg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages as necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3024 (November 7, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). While I couldn’t find any online info about this Le Prince, I did add a comment there stating which Le Prince didn’t paint this, to avoid any speculation. First work by this artist used here.

No mention of this being Edward Scissorhand’s younger brother, François Swordhand?

He was however, able to subvert her insistence on writing his name on his underwear by going commando.

Mycroff just hasn’t got around to bending the sword into a bracelet yet. he wants to be the bell of the ball.

The fact that she wore her sword as a bracelet was the final giveaway as to Sally trying to sneak into the infantry…..

I’m leaning back because my hat is about to tilt me over.

I’m a little teapot …