Pickles by Brian Crane for May 26, 2023

The wives always know Earl. Or so i’ve been told.

When a woman gets older and is married long enough, she develops “Gray-dar.”

My wife has an acute sense of smell. Do you think that I can go to a restaurant for a secret bite? Nope. She can sniff my clothes and tell me exactly which one I was at! I do not need to keep it a secret if I have had a burger in the afternoon at some restaurant. But if I wanted to I would not be able to! :-) But one downside of her acute sense of smell is that when our dog farts she suffers. I am the very opposite—my sense of smell is lousy. Lol :-D

It’s the thought that counts, Earl…

They have a 6th sense for those things, Earl! (Also you are lousy on keeping secrets)!

If I’m asked something I try to be 100% honest in my answer. My wife has learned not to ask questions if she doesn’t want to know the truth. On the other hand, I’m not sure if I’m obligated to blurt out everything without being asked.

Even when trying to buy her presents as a surprise, she knows. In part, that’s because she checks the credit card balance daily. In order to get anything pay her, I have to pay cash. Usually, it’s just easier to say I’m going buy whatever it is. She’s not a huge fan of surprises anyway.

A wise man once said, “I can keep a secret, it’s the people I tell that can’t”.

Observant

I never lied to my wife. When she would ask where I was going I would laugh and say I was taking out this young hot girl, so don’t wait up. She would also laugh and say to have good time at work., she never believed me. My second son does look exactly like my wife’s best friends husband .. ……wait a second…..

What’s really annoying is when you are trying to keep a secret in order to surprise her with something nice – yet she always manages to find out somehow and subsequently spoil it.

Guys have too many ‘tells’ to fool their wives. Wives, on the other hand, use neutral looks as easily as they use makeup. You can’t see what under the surface without a lot of work.

We wives have ways of finding out.

Opal is a force to be reckoned with…

My Gramma used to say “Ask no questions and I will tell you no lies”.

Interesting, I’ve never seen an intelligently looking angler.

There is a sporting goods store around here that will give you a receipt for whatever you told your wife you paid.

I have a lousy poker face so it’s not even worth trying to hide anything from my wife.

And my boss told me he writes his expense vouchers and never tells his wife. (Obviously never used direct deposit.)

MY issue is that, since my brain injury, I am MENTALLY INCAPABLE from keeping a secret involving myself! Thank goodness I’m not a hoodlum.

So I just tell her, now, no secret…

Women know EVERYTHING……. don’t even TRY to be sneaky.!!!

As long as he doesn’t try to store it on MY side of the garage, I don’t care what he buys or how much he pays for it.

I’d have to pay cash to keep it a secret. My wife watches our cards and bank account like a hawk.

Please Don’t ever lie to your spouse, it can ruin a marriage and cause major problems that lead to a nasty divorce where they still lie, even in front of the judge. That is what ended my marriage, my ex husband lied to me about something for 3 1/2 years and when I found out and confronted him he was mad and then started treating me worse than he had been and he walked out on me and then filed for divorce which turned into the nasty divorce.

Opal is bound to know sooner or later, Earl

I never keep secrets from Jason. Plus I am terrible at keeping anything secret. I tell people “If you expect me to keep a secret, reset your expectation.”