Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 01, 2023

If that’s what Pig is googling, maybe he should check himself in for couple weeks.

Pig once tried to sleep by counting, but he was frustrated when he ran out of fingers.

I had my brain “on” all last night, like pig, but didn’t NEED to use google to “start” it up!!!! Dan aka….

Pig was Googling everything that could happen with a Rat as a roommate.

Pig needs to get off line and into sleep

I have a couple or three tricks to turn off my monkey brain. One involves releasing endorphins, which does work best if you have a partner to help. And then you can meditate on a solvable problem, which you must be careful NOT to get into a what-comes-first cycle. And then there’s alcohol…

Simple Pig, look at all the ways you can die and then choose “other”

I prefer this one. The song’s so catchy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw

Yes he did, Rat!

He could also Google “causes of insomnia”. (Cancer, diabetes, asthma, gastroesophageal reflux disease, Parkinson’s disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, epilepsy, fibromyalgia, hear failure, kidney disease, multiple sclerosis, stroke, obstructive sleep apnea, narcolepsy, circadian rytm sleep disorders, angina, concussion, Alzheimer’s disease, and more are all possible causes. So are menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause, which would cause Pig some serious worry.)

Is “peacefully in your sleep” on the list?

Google spelled backwards is Elgoog.

Goat had good intentions, though with someone like Pig, anything could happen.

If one has trouble sleeping, just try to read something by William Faulkner, that will knock you out in a few pages.

Turn to your wife and ask how was her day. You’re gone in 5 seconds! :D

That is literally the single worst thing you can do late at night in bed when trying to get a good night’s sleep.

Soar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUlaseGrkLc&pp=ygUXY2dpIGFuaW1hdGVkIHNob3J0IGZpbG0%3D

Tumbleweed Tango

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nw0PkHqx6SM&pp=ygUXY2dpIGFuaW1hdGVkIHNob3J0IGZpbG0%3D

Coin Operated

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L4DQfVIcdg&pp=ygUXY2dpIGFuaW1hdGVkIHNob3J0IGZpbG0%3D

Quantum Jump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVNJFBI0b-g&pp=ygUXY2dpIGFuaW1hdGVkIHNob3J0IGZpbG0%3D

Material Girl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyoaLway15g&pp=ygUXY2dpIGFuaW1hdGVkIHNob3J0IGZpbG0%3D

Pig, do you really want to learn the countless ways of death?

And get made into bacon……..

Well for one thing, he could end up in a butcher’s shop and get turned into pork chops.

In alphabetical order, no less.

oh pig, now you’re not gonna sleep for weeks now. :L

If the blue light weren’t enough to keep him awake…

No, Pig!

Poor PIG! Always goes to extremes…

Better bet being on his phone googling random stuff is the reason he can’t sleep.

Not a good subject when you’re trying to sleep, Pig.

Only one way to die. I leave that to God; He knows the when, where, and the details of when I will pass. “No worries mate”

Google Mike Pence speeches.

That’s not what Goat had in mind at all, Pig.

Oh thank you so much Pastis for reminding me of a song that messed me up as an impressionable youth: People Who Died by the Jim Carroll Band https://youtu.be/7j2GQqu18J0

I heard Benadryl works. But I prefer Nyquil. (DISCLAIMER, I have no financial interest in either greedy entity.)

Next time, tell him to count sheep.

Pig considering your interest, may I recommend the TV show “Autopsy” for your viewing enjoyment.

I KNOW!!! Google, “all the living creatures that can go up your urethra!” Sound sleep is guaranteed!;D

But we will all go together when we go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FektWYJ5sBA

Doom scrolling at its finest

If Google is collecting our data the way people say it is, the top of his customized list should be “spam”.

I used to have major episodes of sleep apnea, wake up at 4am gasping for breath and unable to go back to sleep from fear it would happen again. Nothing on TV at that hour but infomercials, but I had a massive collection of DVDs so I looked for something light that wouldn’t matter if I managed to doze off in the middle.

I settled on “Road to Singapore”. Just before dropping off, I discovered that South Sea Islanders apparently sing their fertility rituals in Esperanto.

You need to watch a boring YouTube video.

Yeah, we used to watch this sometimes: https://youtu.be/-mB9GWFopQA

Funny!

Pig is not very smart, but he sure tastes good.

I’ll lay on my right side for 3 to 6 mins., then my left..never did more than three flips before falling.

Pig has a special knack for picking the wrong Google Search….

Pig listened to Bobby Lewis and the 5th Dimension.

That’s a terrible way to relax and get to sleep. Even if you manage not to stumble on something disturbing, it will set your mind whirring and before you know it the night’s half gone.

I remember one night I was up till the wee hours just trying to figure out what Graham’s Number is supposed to be. At this I failed; I just got dozens of people trying to impress, usually through breathless hyperbole, that it’s too large a number for our puny brains to visualize.

I put on something long that I really want to watch. I’ll be dead asleep in minutes.