I had a professor that stated “Brewing was the beginning of civilization.” It required a stationary population to cultivate grain which would then ferment. It’s still a popular theory.
Some money? Actually I read somewhere that in all the human settlements in history, virtually the first thing ever invented was alcohol; a number of South Pacific nations have Kava, and they’ve been around for a while. Beer is thought to have been invented by the Sumerians around 8,000 BC and the original brewers were women. The Sumerians also had a goddess of beer, Ninkasi.
“Ladies, Night” rings more and more Neanderthal, and therefore fitting for this context. (California, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin have ruled that ladies’ night discounts are unlawful gender-based price discrimination under state or local statutes.)
One theory of the origin of civilization is that guys wanted a steady supply of brewskis, and so developed agriculture to have an adequate supply of grain to ferment. This is known as the Beer Theory. (Competing theories are the Wise Woman Theory, Mutant Grain Theory, and Religion Theory. These are not mutually exclusive. It could be the women recognized the potential for agriculture so their guys would have beer and stay out of their hair, for example.)
Captain Obvious tells us the pivotal moment in the brewing industry was hiring a trans woman as an advertisement. Should have stuck with “Dilly! Dilly”.
Frank Zappa: “In order to be a real country, you have to have a beer and an airline. It would help if you had a couple of nuclear weapons or something, but first you need the beer.” (This from a man who didn’t drink.)
After scrolling through the comments I have little to offer. My first thought was beer, glasses, and waitresses. I liked the comments about beer/alcohol being indicative of civilization.
The first alcoholic beverage was probably mead. Under the right circumstances, honey will ferment with no help. Rotten fruit has a low proof and humans are actually resistant to alcohol to a degree. Protohumans might have gotten buzzed on bad fruit, but eventually more of a kick was needed.
C 11 months ago
Maybe some fermented mammoth milk for a start
sirbadger 11 months ago
They need 2 things: 1. Beer, and 2. Something other than hands to pour beer into.
Erse IS better 11 months ago
Dart board.
The dude from FL (not bragging) Premium Member 11 months ago
One of those bowling machines that are always out of order would be be nice
AllishaDawn 11 months ago
Karaoke Tuesday
Ubintold 11 months ago
Bud light, it ain’t.
Imagine 11 months ago
Peanuts.
Cactus-Pete 11 months ago
Of course, bar stools didn’t exist for hundreds (thousands?) of years.
MeanBob Premium Member 11 months ago
I had a professor that stated “Brewing was the beginning of civilization.” It required a stationary population to cultivate grain which would then ferment. It’s still a popular theory.
Enter.Name.Here 11 months ago
Well, if it’s a “nudie bar”… https://youtu.be/1aifWQ3o8u0
dadoctah 11 months ago
“And the first guy who says pickled pigs’ knuckles is out of here.”
Cornelius Noodleman 11 months ago
Root beer!
Imagine 11 months ago
The people that walked passed it passed the bar and became lawyers.
ArcticFox Premium Member 11 months ago
They could barley hop to it.
keenanthelibrarian 11 months ago
Some money? Actually I read somewhere that in all the human settlements in history, virtually the first thing ever invented was alcohol; a number of South Pacific nations have Kava, and they’ve been around for a while. Beer is thought to have been invented by the Sumerians around 8,000 BC and the original brewers were women. The Sumerians also had a goddess of beer, Ninkasi.
dot-the-I 11 months ago
“Ladies, Night” rings more and more Neanderthal, and therefore fitting for this context. (California, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin have ruled that ladies’ night discounts are unlawful gender-based price discrimination under state or local statutes.)
jbordzol 11 months ago
Scantily clad women!
Intergalactic Hussy 11 months ago
Leave some barley out for the “spirits,” and come back after it’s rained.
LawrenceS 11 months ago
One theory of the origin of civilization is that guys wanted a steady supply of brewskis, and so developed agriculture to have an adequate supply of grain to ferment. This is known as the Beer Theory. (Competing theories are the Wise Woman Theory, Mutant Grain Theory, and Religion Theory. These are not mutually exclusive. It could be the women recognized the potential for agriculture so their guys would have beer and stay out of their hair, for example.)
Zebrastripes 11 months ago
Hops to it!
Count Olaf Premium Member 11 months ago
Captain Obvious tells us the pivotal moment in the brewing industry was hiring a trans woman as an advertisement. Should have stuck with “Dilly! Dilly”.
The Pro from Dover 11 months ago
Cliff Clavin
grocks 11 months ago
… and pizza.
Adolf Trump 11 months ago
peanuts
Carol from CT 11 months ago
Barmaids. Pool table. Loud music nobody dances to.
erniebob51 11 months ago
Beer……..duh!!
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member 11 months ago
Girls?
DaBump Premium Member 11 months ago
Sarsaparilla! Milk! Tea, Earl Gray, hot! … what?
sandpiper 11 months ago
Hadda find some way to relax after the hunt and head bashing. Been that way ever since.
mindjob 11 months ago
They need some guy sitting at the end of the bar who tells fantastic stories
ladykat 11 months ago
Beer would be good.
poppacapsmokeblower 11 months ago
Beer came before bars, except in the dictionary.
Mediatech 11 months ago
How about hiring some semi-talented locals to provide live music.
1ecrae 11 months ago
THE DUDE IN THE MIDDLE IS LOOKING FOR THE CAN!
Amra Leo 11 months ago
A refreshing beverage, maybe?
Honorable Mention In The Banjo Toss Premium Member 11 months ago
Frank Zappa: “In order to be a real country, you have to have a beer and an airline. It would help if you had a couple of nuclear weapons or something, but first you need the beer.” (This from a man who didn’t drink.)
paulscon 11 months ago
After scrolling through the comments I have little to offer. My first thought was beer, glasses, and waitresses. I liked the comments about beer/alcohol being indicative of civilization.
cfkelley 11 months ago
Bar nuts.
locake 11 months ago
Males definitely invented alcohol before they had clothes or language or furniture.
rjarchuleta 11 months ago
Uh, beer?!
anomaly 11 months ago
Smoke and depression?
websterphreaky 11 months ago
IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY? Out of Cartoon Ideas??
JudyAz 11 months ago
Mastodon chips.
Jeffin Premium Member 11 months ago
Take the path of yeast resistance.
alexius23 11 months ago
One of the first sign of an increasing social complexity is the ability to ferment items to make booze
PoodleGroomer 11 months ago
Women and wine. Save the beer for when you run out of them.
The Brooklyn Accent 11 months ago
Billy Joel playing piano?
Bilan 11 months ago
“What if we offered half-priced beer to lure the women here”
“Great idea! Just one question.”
“Yes?”
“What’s beer?”
gary.eddings4157 Premium Member 11 months ago
Whatever you get, it should be on the rocks
Tom Toro creator 11 months ago
Two-part question: At what point in the evolutionary process was karaoke introduced, and how can we travel back in time to prevent it?
andrew.scharnhorst 11 months ago
Karaoke machine!
6turtle9 11 months ago
Happy hour.
Curiosity Premium Member 11 months ago
Pool Table
AndrewSihler 11 months ago
I know! I know!
eddi-TBH 11 months ago
The first alcoholic beverage was probably mead. Under the right circumstances, honey will ferment with no help. Rotten fruit has a low proof and humans are actually resistant to alcohol to a degree. Protohumans might have gotten buzzed on bad fruit, but eventually more of a kick was needed.
goboboyd 11 months ago
A horse behind the bar serving wise cracks.
jldewane 11 months ago
it’s a good start
hagarthehorrible 11 months ago
Some more glasses.
ira.crank 11 months ago
Something better than AA.
john_chubb 11 months ago
Agriculture, and civilization, are a direct result of the desire for more of that grain you can make beer from.
bakana 11 months ago
Someone suggested Buffalo Wings, but everyone reminded him that Buffalo don’t Have wings.
donut reply 11 months ago
A whiteboard to write all the things you need.