Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for December 06, 2023

Ignorance—the foundation of every endeavor in the Funkyverse.

So, Funky, how did Montoni succeed in the pizza business? Who was the administrative genius that kept him in the black? You? Les Moore? Holly? Or did Sweeny Todd pay you to help dispose of his customers?

“It’s easy! The first rule is, never refer to repeat customers as ‘survivors!’”

HA HA HA wait, it’s the last panel so there is funny joke? Oh, as always, punchline is in the missing FOURTH panel?! WHAT THE GOL DANG HECK IS FUNNY ABOUT THIS? Are you pro-Crankers finally getting why we warned you about Tom turning this into Funky? Get used to it, Ed fans. Peak Crank has been reached; there’s no where to go now but down.

“Relax—neither did Jeffery Dahmer!” Plug any name in there, it’s just as funny!

Okay, important business-running question here: all those jars and kitchen implements we see in the background—are they brand-new? Has the re-opening process reached the point where Montoni’s is ready to go? Or have they been sitting there since the place failed? In that case somebody should tell them to toss the old condiments and ingredients, unless they have a county EMS van permanently parked outside the shop.

^ Get a grip people it o nly a comic ^ .

Was Tony a teenager at the time who had only had one job his entire life and that job was writing comic books?

When Mindy says nothing, she means NOTHING. But Funky doesn’t care because once he gets the check it’s not his problem any more.

Another question: Is Pete also buying the building. and is the comic book store still on the second floor? Because if he is, that means Pete will also have to deal with becoming a landlord which is an entirely different, even more massive headache.

The result? The place was shuttered… Both shops. Folks may not remember that there was a location opened in New York City that failed.

4th Panel: “And, well, I guess see where that got us. Anyway, good luck!”

The yin and the yang……….she is the yin!!!!!

Rule One: DON’T get Ed involved.

Is there any other old, failing business in town that someone can takeover? Movie theater…check. Pizza dump…check. Next?

Now I know why I am not reading comments anymore. Everyone is a “Debbie Downer” lol

You will learn from experience.

I love pizza, what about you?

I will make one, or maybe two!

Did you know they come from Italy?

Mixing ingredients is the key!

Put it in the oven, 200 degrees!

Yes, A pizza chef I want to be!

I like them hard with extra cheese!

It looks delicious, here take a piece!

[Chorus]

Pizza here, pizza there!

Pizza, pizza, everywhere!

Pizza here, pizza there!

The smell of pizza in the air!

[Chorus]

Pizza here, pizza there!

Pizza, pizza, everywhere!

Pizza here, pizza there!

Eat my pizza if you dare!

[Pre-Chorus]

They come in dozens of variety

A couple of them will set you free!

Which one should you take? I don’t know

Maybe with onions and tomato

They are so lovely and fully round

Eat them until you fall on the ground

Large, medium, or extra small

Doesn’t matter, just give them all!

[Chorus]

Pizza here, pizza there!

Pizza, pizza, everywhere!

Pizza here, pizza there!

The smell of pizza in the air!

[Chorus]

Pizza here, pizza there!

Pizza, pizza, everywhere!

Pizza here, pizza there!

Eat a pizza if you dare!

.

Once again, for those who have become their parents and have not learned to use an internet search engine, this is a parody of the “The Pizza Song” by Glenn Leroi.

And remember, we don’t need 47 pictures of last nights dinner and no you can’t slide into someone’s DM.

Agree

The red dot in the background is Crankshaft.

I don’t know about you, but reading this arc is making me hungry

Where’s Crankshaft?

Mindy – Apparently, you also don’t know the first thing about communicating with your husband. I’d suggest working on that first.

And not a funny one either………..

did pete ask funky where he ordered his pineapple from ?

But Tony Montoni knew plenty about how to deal with health inspectors.

So first he laughs at how they have no experience and they are doomed to failure, and now today he tells them it’s no big deal if you don’t have any experience.

“There’s nothing to worry about. All it takes is a couple of failed marriages, crippling alcoholism, exploiting family and friends for free labor and, ultimately, auctioning the whole thing off before a time jump.”

If I don’t care for a particular comic strip, I just skip reading it. It’s easy.

Great. “Crankshaft” was a decent strip, when the focus was on him. “Funky Winkerbean” was a miserably bad, boring strip. Please, Mr. Batiuk, put down the bong.

Couldn’t work in some joke about dough and money?

The whiskey fungus is back! Hooray!!

Ooh, maybe he’ll hire Ed as a delivery driver. Just slap a Montoni’s sign on his school bus. I’m sure that won’t be a problem, he uses the bus for personal reasons all the time.

Haha! (＾▽＾)