“Hello there, Funky Winkerbean fans! I’m Tom Batiuk! Remember all the times that I repeatedly depicted children selling band turkeys in the many years that I wrote that strip? Guess what! They were also all hypnotized! And I never once depicted anyone as being hypnotized back then – in fact, they were all lucidly speaking and interacting with potential customers all the time – but they were hypnotized too! Because I said so now!”
“You were always ahead of the other egomaniacs! Also, your book is literally 1/3 the page count from yesterday, so this can’t be repurposed clipart! Like that guy from yesterday fanning your ego with the head of the alien from the Twilight Zone ep ‘To Serve Man’ that got run through the Squish Head filter! Also, yours is literally THE most punchable face I’ve every seen, and your strips have Mopey Pete and Les M—-MM—” (intense vomiting ensues)
For some odd reason…I get the feeling that Tom’s about to release a book…possibly of recycled Dinkleberry strips named…titled…Hang on, it’ll hit me…“DUMBO GETS A MOHAWK”! Also, where is this happening? Not like it’s shoved in your face THREE TIMES or nothing.
Y’all are some of THE rudest commentors I’ve seen. Why are you so intent on being rude to a 76-year-old? Look,as someone who loves Funky but didn’t know about it until October,I’m GLAD to see the FW characters show up. I own three Complete books,but not the 2008-2010 one,which is why I’m glad to see them as FW was taken off of Comics Kingdom. You can be critical,but I don’t think you guys need to be so mean. And to whoever made the joke about Crankshaft getting CTE,that was vile.
wherescrankshaft 9 months ago
“Hello there, Funky Winkerbean fans! I’m Tom Batiuk! Remember all the times that I repeatedly depicted children selling band turkeys in the many years that I wrote that strip? Guess what! They were also all hypnotized! And I never once depicted anyone as being hypnotized back then – in fact, they were all lucidly speaking and interacting with potential customers all the time – but they were hypnotized too! Because I said so now!”
Where’s Crankshaft?
Bill Thompson 9 months ago
More like the cutting edge of a butter knife: totally dull.
Bill Thompson 9 months ago
If only we could see Dinkle face the cutting edge of a guillotine!
Bill Thompson 9 months ago
“And everyone is so proud of you for never once saying that Becky Howard gave you a hand!”
billsplut 9 months ago
“You were always ahead of the other egomaniacs! Also, your book is literally 1/3 the page count from yesterday, so this can’t be repurposed clipart! Like that guy from yesterday fanning your ego with the head of the alien from the Twilight Zone ep ‘To Serve Man’ that got run through the Squish Head filter! Also, yours is literally THE most punchable face I’ve every seen, and your strips have Mopey Pete and Les M—-MM—” (intense vomiting ensues)
J.J. O'Malley 9 months ago
I wish he was truly on the cutting edge…of a buzzsaw at the old abandoned lumber mill.
B UTTONS 9 months ago
Some of those kids have latent hypnosis suggestions that they are turkeys.
billsplut 9 months ago
For some odd reason…I get the feeling that Tom’s about to release a book…possibly of recycled Dinkleberry strips named…titled…Hang on, it’ll hit me…“DUMBO GETS A MOHAWK”! Also, where is this happening? Not like it’s shoved in your face THREE TIMES or nothing.
billsplut 9 months ago
Child abuse is funny now!!
angelolady Premium Member 9 months ago
I see why you guys hate this one.
billsplut 9 months ago
The dialog was used verbatim in the opening of the Netflix show “DINKLE: Serial Killer.”
Argythree 9 months ago
This is really disgusting. Compared to this stuff, Cranky is an angel…
Fetzee 9 months ago
Is that Crankshaft?
French Persons Premium Member 9 months ago
Hey, hey, Funky Crankerbean!
KenHelmick 9 months ago
The further this strip strays from Crankshaft, the unfunnier it gets…
bluephrog 9 months ago
One must remember that Harry’s advanced degree is an M.M.M. Master of Musician Manipulation.
rockyridge1977 9 months ago
Parturition of a scam!!!!!!!
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 9 months ago
Were the turkeys live or frozen?
grozar 9 months ago
Bingle is semi-alive, for now.
be ware of eve hill 9 months ago
Talk about beating a dead horse. I think we get the point, Mr. Batiuk.
Part 4 in a 200 part series of why Harry Dinkle is a smug a-hole and vile human being.
ladykat 9 months ago
That is not ethical!
tcayer 9 months ago
This is making me long for a mailbox gag.
lemonbaskt 9 months ago
is that what people do now at book signings pick up the book and start reading it back to the author !!!
Imsowet 9 months ago
I thought Funky Winkerbean ended.
Cozmik Cowboy 9 months ago
C’mon, Tom – if I wanted to read Funky Winkerbean, I’d go read Funky Winkerbean.
I do not, want to read Funky Winkerbean,however, and never have. Kindly remove it forthwith from your good strip.
Mopman 9 months ago
The cutting edge of lunacy? I agree.
paige.votruba 9 months ago
Y’all are some of THE rudest commentors I’ve seen. Why are you so intent on being rude to a 76-year-old? Look,as someone who loves Funky but didn’t know about it until October,I’m GLAD to see the FW characters show up. I own three Complete books,but not the 2008-2010 one,which is why I’m glad to see them as FW was taken off of Comics Kingdom. You can be critical,but I don’t think you guys need to be so mean. And to whoever made the joke about Crankshaft getting CTE,that was vile.
JBWeld 9 months ago
The reference is to the 1939 Henry Fonda film “Drums Along the Mohawk.”
Drbarb71 Premium Member 9 months ago
What a creep!
kathleenhicks62 9 months ago
What the he** is this story line about? incomprehensible!!!
David Rickard Premium Member 9 months ago
How much is Dinkle paying these people to sing his praises?
CsRoberto2854 9 months ago
I think Dinkshit decided to preform Project MKUltra upon his students
WilliamVollmer 9 months ago
Nowadays wouldn’t using hypnosis be consider abuse?