Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 19, 2024

Do it the old fashioned way: Admit the kid whose parents give you the fattest envelope.

And the last decision they have Chucky make determines his future; original recipe, or extra crispy?

I mean… there are ways to detect if an essay has been written by AI. Run all the Essays through that, and disqualify anyone who’s percentage is too high.

If they find a way besides the chicken would that be thinking outside the buks?

So the people that get admitted are the ones that write their name on rice paper?

At least put glasses on the chicken so it will look intelligent. The red bowtie matches the chicken’s neck.

Nothing unfair about the SAT/ACT.

This guy is in a peck of trouble

No harm no fowl

What? You can’t even consider race? What kind of world are we living in?

Meritocracy is dead

That sounds like something desantas would come up with!

In Europe there is, depending on the university and studies that you want to do, an entrance test

no need for admission test, just chicken in the candidates

That chicken is anything BUT chunky

And thanx to the Libtards, those randomly picked kids will be running our country. Tell me they are not deliberately ruining our country.

Gun nut seems to ignore DT Jr, Ivanka, Eric, Jared, and Bone Spur Boy himself

Schools have gone back to the SAT’s, Harvard has announced that they have returned to the old ways. I wonder why?

And in the end they’ll know, it was just a GIGO low.

The fact that they needed the Supreme Court to step in to stop them considering race is… pretty sad when you think about it.

The world just keeps getting crazier and crazier!!

Sarcasm at it’s best. The chicken decides.

We need a better education system.

From the L.A. Times this weekend:“Only a handful of schools have resurrected the testing requirement, but among them are heavyweights in the world of higher education: MIT, Dartmouth and Georgetown. Most recently, the University of Texas at Austin and Brown University joined the list and the University of North Carolina is considering it. Yale also will require standardized test scores, but tests such as Advanced Placement can be used in place of college entrance exams.”

Chucky might be out of a job.

What does it matter? One day we are all going to led by kids who were homeschooled by day drinkers.

We went to see a tic-tac-toe playing chicken on vacation when I was a kid (we were easily amused). The owner said none of his flock lost more than once.

Follow Mike Rowe’s advice, get job training, and become a plumber, electrition, welder, or butcher… make more money than a grad student going after a gender studies degree.

It’s fair!

Always wondered how I got in…

They used to go by your high school marks more than by the SAT. Adult applicants at one college could take a test, but it was their own test, not an SAT. And you can stop them from using ChatGPT by having them write the essay in the classroom as part of the test.

Is the chicken’s last name Cheese?

What? Like they weren’t already doing that?

No Race Sorry NASCAR

Aww now my ACT score will go to waste… I worked so hard on that essay…

Considering that none of those things that supposedly we don’t do any more had any success at all in predicting academic performance, a lottery would probably work just as well. In fact, if the truth be told, it was always a crap-shoot anyway. I think the best policy is open admissions. Yes, you have to fund it. That’s feasible.

Throw all of the applications down the stairs. The ones that go the furthest are the ones that you pick first, then keep going up the stairs until you get you fulfill your enrolment.

All this is the result of grade inflation. Back when I was in HS in the 1970’s, 4 people out of 750 had straight A’s. In 2016 when my son graduated, there were dozens (in a class of 250).

So a top level college gets thousands of applications with perfect grades, and if they can’t use anything else to decide, having a chicken pick names out of a hat makes as much sense as anything.

There is research that showed “underserved” applicants actually did better when test scores (SAT, ACT) were counted, so some Universities have put them back on the list of criteria.

Maybe we could elect politicians the same way?

Let’s have more Chucky The Chicken. He could replace the electoral college!

Has anyone thought of a kid’s grades pre college??

You use a chicken??? ANIMAL ABUSE! ;D

Where’s a good sorting hat when you need one?

How I passed the SAT, I’ll never know. Watch out for Chucky, he has a missing transistor or two, or Jeffry Dahmer was his Fortran programmer.

welp.. have to go back to.. CURSIVE WRITING for ESSAYS! BWA HA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

Some people are going to cry fowl.

Maybe we can have AI universities and everyone can get an education. Just dreaming.

And grades are worthless as a tool because now everybody gets an “A” just for showing up and not committing violence in the room…….

The SAT’s are making a comeback. It turns out that without them it’s hard to admit students from high schools you’ve never heard of.

It’s not like your kid is going to actually get an education. The college graduates I meet today couldn’t pass the tests I took as a senior in high school. They’ll chant “from the River to the Sea” and still not be able to identify either the river or the sea or know why that’s a genocidal chant. I mean, Queers for Palestine, where being openly gay is a death sentence? Send your kid to a trade school – there’s a huge shortage of plumbers, carpenters, HVAC techs and electricians and they all make way more than gender studies grads.

If there’s ever any lesson I’ve learned from the first time going to college, it’s (1.) They will screw you out of financial aid any which way they can, so you have to pay out of your own pocket every time and (2.) They don’t care about your success.

I think I’ll just take online courses through Penn Foster or something like that. At least that works to my advantage. Plus, they do care about my success.

(In case you’re wondering, I’m currently gathering up the funds to give college education another go. Let’s see how 20-some years later makes a difference for me.)

This why drop-out rates are at an all-time high. They are admitting kids who can’t even read or write, because they are from a ‘protected class’, or their parents flat out bribe somebody. We have gone from the best and the brightest, to the worst and the stupidest.

Now we know the chicken crossed the road to take a job at the local college admissions office

It’s the Hogwarts Way, slightly modified.

but schools are saying that they are going back to those tests.

Or, as we called it in my day, the Stanford method (somebody takes all of the applications, stands at the top of the steps leading into the administration building, tosses them into the air, and the ones that land on the highest steps get admitted first)

Seems fair.

These exams measure very little. Some reading comprehension and high school math up to algebra. They add almost nothing to the admissions decision, but are incredibly discriminatory.

The exams are supposed to predict students’ performance in the first year of college, but they do a poor job of that. What they DO correlate well with is family wealth and income. Why? Because kids from those families go to better schools, they have more study resources, can afford to be coached on the test, and can afford to take it multiple times.

These exams create an externality, where one party (colleges and universities) consumes the information while the other (parents) pays for them. If the schools were required to pay for the information they are demanding, these exams will disappear over night.

Some myths:

—The tests measure aptitude. They do not. They measure reading and math.

—The tests measure higher order thinking. They do not.

—The tests can’t be coached. Oh, yes they can. Students can be taught what the tests cover and test-taking skills that give them tremendous advantages over kids who don’t get that instruction.

—The tests give disadvantaged kids a leg up. Nope. The tests create even larger gaps between the haves and the have-nots.

—The tests predict success. They do not. The best predictor of college success is high school success.

These exams are a billion-dollar scam. Again, schools would dump them immediately if they had to pay for them.

Go to aviation school. If you don’t crash the plane, you graduate!

How did they choose which chicken?