The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for March 26, 2024

Taser and knock out drops, for a start.

Learn to strike first, Brutus. Take her out before she even has a chance to engage. (We really hate her, don’t we?)

I suggest a LARGE bucket of ….. cold water!!!

/SHMIRK/

Ah yes, a pain in the neck and somewhere else a little further south.

She’s the pain that never goes away.

The person you need to consult is an exorcist.

Sssshh Brutus! Leave your mom in law alone

Doctor Carlo Rossi.

In that case we know exactly where your pain is. Below the waist and above the thighs!

Hopefully, this person specializes in GIVING pain.

Maybe fix her up with your friend there Brutus. I don’t see a wedding ring on his finger. Some quality male companionship might be just the thing to fill her needs.

Their pain is mutual.

I’d offer a pill but Mother Gargle is one.

Pain management is not what it sounds like at all. It’s just an expensive co-pay place that sends you to other expensive specialist co-pay places for testing that is neither helpful nor reasonably-priced. I think you may do better going to a divorce attorney or a hit man. If you want the DIY route, a restraining order. That won’t get her the straight jacket though. Once again, false advertising.

I know how Brutus feels. I’m not exactly fond of my MIL either.

drink one Manhattan and get plenty of rest…

Brutus, I don’t think you need to see a pain management specialist as much as you need to see witch doctor to rid you of the curse of Mother Gargle.

Put it all behind you, B.

And she whelped Gladys. Hurts both butt cheeks.

no amount of pain meds is enough to help you with that problem…

Only so much any doctor can do Brutus .

So your backside then

Do you mean an exorcist?

I think you need to get is what is called in medicine as a magic bullet that is directed to the exact pain source. Though a real bullet might work also, but that’s a bad thing to consider.,..

You can either treat the symptoms or treat (cure, eliminate?) the source

Pain management specialist is that another name for hit man?

Pain Management Specialist?

I think we might be onto something here… ㋛

Is she insured? Just asking. Mother Gargle is the gift that keeps on giving.

change the locks, Brutus

Block all openings she might squeeze through.

I don’t think that’s something any doctor can help you with, Brutus.

It’s not going to go away until she does.

Everyone has a nemesis in their life. Batman has the Joker, Superman has Alex Luthor, Robin Hood has the Sheriff of Nottingham and Brutus has Mother Gargle

You need a “hit” specialist.

I’m sorry! Did he say he was looking for a hit man?

Move and forget to tell her.

Make the next hit movie, Thorny. “Throw momma in law from the train.”

One of my guilty pleasures is reading books about organized crime. They have ways of taking care of your problem Brutus. In case you’re interested.

Pain management might work, but I’m thinking you need an exorcist. ☺️☺️

Not all pain is physical. Just ask Brutus.

He’s either considering hiring a hit man or finding her a boyfriend, to take her off his hands (of course, the latter solution could result in twice the pain, if the boyfriend is anything like her).

On a positive note, Brutus P., you’re the one whose skill depicts her so well that we hate her!

With any luck, you’ll outlive her. But wait! You’re the Born Loser. You only have bad luck.