Close to Home by John McPherson for April 03, 2024

Sew, it’s like this..

Is amazing counterpart to famous CCCP1 Soviet minicam!

In a moment you are going to wish your insurance covered anesthesia.

Capt. Black : Anybody know if this is an officer or an enlisted man?

Hawkeye Pierce : He’s an enlisted man.

Capt. Black : Make the stitches bigger.

Surgery for his detached retina requires specialized equipment.

Your stitches are going to need stitches!

Hoo-weee! That ain’t yer mama’s Singer!!

And, Bleeb is thinking, “Stupid scrubs.”

The machine that goes “Ping”?

A few yrs ago I had major abdominal surgery. A post op development led me ro another dr for another opinion and she looked at my sizeable incision and commented…“that is a very nice incision. You can tell a woman did that”

After they go in through his navel, they’ll do a belly buttonhole stitch.

That would scare me, if I needed stitches.

Just rub some dirt on it…

Ha! I hear the surgeon is a real sew and sew.

Wait’ll you see the size of the needle they bring in.

♪ Closing time ♪

Won’t they need some thread? It already has a needle.

All that for a scratch on the arm?

“Um, Doc, isn’t there any way it might be possible to just use Dermabond instead?”

Unfortunately, the surgery was touch-and-go. I hear he’s only hanging on by a thread.

The doctor’s response: “Suture self.”

Is he a snitch?

It’s just a flesh wound.

While he’s at it might as well get a tattoo

Are you saying you’re a snitch?

Wow…a burgundy IV…who’d a thunk it!

Sew……do you come here often?