Last Kiss by John Lustig for April 03, 2024

“It’s a shame he’s on top of the ground. He ought to be under it, encouraging the cauliflower.” or something like that. From Mark Twain’s Pudd’nhead Wilson.

She: “I think we should bury our differences.”

He: “Sure, sweetheart! Now untie me and let me out of this hole in the wall! We’ll have a glass of that Amontillado”

She: “I don’t think you understand yet.” (puts mortar on another brick…

He’s pushing up the daisies.

So that’s where she buried him.

Just wanted to keep an eye on the cheating dog.

She’ll always have someone to look up to her now.

Deep down like 6’?

How far deep down? Six feet?

“Green Burials.” It’s now The Thing. Good to see she’s right on top of the latest trend in both gardening and human composting.

“I miss him very mulch (My aim was bad at first.) But he is good fertilizer — he was soooo full of … ‘manure’.”

Parting is said to be sweet sorrow, but this Juliet doesn’t seem the least bit unhappy.

Attorney graves are dug to be 12 feet deep. Because, deep, deep down, lawyers are OK.

I don’t think that’s the garden she’s talking about…

My gardening secret? Blood meal. Blood meal and bone meal. About 200 pounds of it.

If he’s buried in the garden — as she hints — at least his spirit will always be able to look up her skirt.

“I’m saying he’s fertilizer, compost, plant food! Did marvels for the strawberries – want one?”

As long as the never find the body, he will always be here.

And she and her gardener lived happily ever after tending that very fertile spot.

“That spot is marked as my favorite part of the Garden (his name was Mark)…”

6 feet “down deep?”

nice com’post’

He’s enriched the garden in more ways than one.

Full body fertilizer!

Nature heals. As do high heels.

I’m diggin’ this one!

This leaves me thinking of an old Playboy cartoon: The creepy gardener has uncovered a skeleton, this old woman standing there says: “Hobbs, it would be well advised to put the Delphinium bed elsewhere.”

\\//_

“…..And see how well the flowers grow where he’s gone to!!”

Old joke-

Friend “Where’s your husband?”

Woman “In the garden”

Friend " I didn’t see him"

Woman “You have to dig a little”

now he’s really into the garden…

He was a very nourishing individual.

(That Last Kiss must have been a doozy.)

Yeah, you just wait till the will gets read!!

I dig the joke. It was kind of deep,

I just mentioned to a friend, a capable woman always knows a good place to take her problems. That’s the PG rated version.

Oh nice :)

She waters the flowers on his grave with the wine she drank yesterday.

Atta girl!

I’m guessing she murdered and buried him and is using him as fertilizer.

A decomposing body adds about 2.6 kilograms of nitrogen to the soil, about 50 times more than the average garden needs.