Pickles by Brian Crane for April 26, 2024

Getting old ain’t for sissies!

I’ve heard something about the alternative, now how does that go?

I wish I had looked it up about 20 years ago. Then I wouldn’t have been so surprised by everything that’s happened.

(There are still a few medical specialists I don’t have yet, but it’s just a matter of time.)

I’m still breathing.

Sadie told me a recent British Poll said that folks settled on the age of 72 years – to be called “elderly”. Poop!

And elderly retired people are called O.A.Ps. (Old Age Pensioners). Can’tcha just hear their bones cracking?

Methinks the British could do with a bit of positivity training to overcome their chronic lessened life expectations. And ageism.

WHAT?? Grampa is old?? That’s so sad, I had no idea! Maybe we should write him a get well card or something?

Go away Kid ya bother me !

Someday you will know, Nelson!

That durn Google whippersnapper! (spit)

Apparently, Nelson learned that you’re supposed to treat the elderly in a condescending manner.

I just love the Roscoe today , he is just precious : )

See, Google doesn’t know everything.

Oh, I’d rather be gone

Than carry on

I’d rather go away

Than feel this way

Oh, I’d rather be there

Where you haven’t got a care

And you’re better off dead

Though it doesn’t seem fair

I’d Rather Be Dead-Harry Nilsson

With age comes wisdom.

At 77 I’m doing ok, it’s the world around me that’s falling apart.

The other men in my family have all died around 50, I’m 72 – uncharted territory.

FANTASTIC

“don’t let the old man in”

I’m learning in my advanced years when playing the old man card is advantageous.

Aw, Nelson is trying to be sweet.

70 years ago, at age 18, I started a job as orderly in a ‘convalescent home.’ [In that time, those were like hospices but were really places to put family members who were too great a burden for families, or in some cases, just inconvenient. Some were in there for years.]

I walked into a ward with 12 men of varying ages and conditions, who were sitting on their beds, just looking at the floor, and, for the time I was there, most continued to do that without moving except during meals or to go to bathroom [those who could do so on their own]. I recognized men who I thought had died. To say I was shocked is to say the sun is a light.

At that precise moment I was looking at my possible future and the next few months engraved those images into my memory. I have never forgotten that time and I still remember more of their names and faces than of the students I taught until 1997.

So, kid, you better make good use of your brain and pay attention because you’ll get there if life allows it.

“Nelson. My head ain’t a bongo drum!”

The worst part of growing old is… dang… I can’t remember….

I once read about a Children’s Museum in Israel that has kids don gloves to experience what it’s like to have an elder person’s manual dexterity. I used to think that was hyperbole, then I became an elder…

Finally, some empathy!

I think that old age is 15 years older than I am right now. My perception is I’ll never get old. It’s always 15 years in the future. And stay off my lawn! Hahaha!

Age is just a state of mind your own business.

As for me, I choose the Methuselah alternative medicine.

“So you’re saying it was accurate?”

I’m forwarding this to my kids. They can’t say they haven’t been warned about what’s awaiting them.

Nelson, remember this when you are old enough to help your Grand parents around the house.

I once met a grandmother who was 29 years old. Not all grandparents are “old.”

My mother told me often " Never get old." I wonder just what she meant?