Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 02, 2024

Such a pessimist.

Laughter is the best medicine. Lameness, not so much.

But people who read Frog Applause live longer than many animals.

Granted, there’s still that alone and in pain thing. Oh well. Whatcha going to do?

nice boots

So this comic is a pain.

Not a problem… Other comics like “Last Kiss” “Calvin & Hobbes” (yes, even in the nth re-reading) “That is Priceless” etc etc increase longevity, counteracting FA.

I’m not worried, I never read this comic strip.

Well that’s something to look forward to at least.

Ultimately, everyone dies alone.

Unless you’re a bus driver.

Teresa, today’s comic reminded me of these lyrics in a song by Jefferson Starship: “…You came into this life unsheltered and all alone / That’s how you came and for sure that’s how you go out…”

We live in a thesaurus world.

Frog Applause. Bringing hope to the hopeless.

Some comic strips die like that.

I’m glad your prediction is far better than my current outlook.

…it’s all about quality of life…

…can you really say you live longer…

…if you never really lived?…

…say, Frog Applause is like Vienna sausages…

…every time you partake…

…you lose a day of your life…

…who wants to live to be 120 anyway(s)?…

…am I truly living my tugging out automobile pieces to a robotic line 10 hours a day?…

…am I not more alive the vast few minutes it takes me to consume Frog Applause?!?…

…the say…

…live every day like it’s your last…

…I don’t know about you, but …

…I don’t want to spent my last days climbing Mount Kilimanjaro…

…I’d rather be sitting on my back porch watching the sunrise …

…having a cup of good coffee…

…and reading Frog Applause…

…it’s all about the quality of life…

…can you really say you live longer…

…if you never really lived?…

…say, Frog Applause is like Vienna sausages…

…every time you partake…

…you lose a day of your life…

…who wants to live to be 120 anyway(s)?…

…am I truly living by my tugging out automobile pieces to a robotic line 10 hours a day?…

…am I not more alive the vast few minutes it takes for me to consume Frog Applause?!?…

…they say…

…live every day like it’s your last…

…I don’t know about you, but …

…I don’t want to spent my last days climbing Mount Kilimanjaro…

…I’d rather be sitting on my back porch watching the sunrise …

…having a cup of good coffee…

…and reading Frog Applause…

Nice to know.

It’s getting a bit late to die sooner, if you don’t count when they killed me in the O.R. 60+ years ago (I got better). “Alone & in pain” sounds about average.

Well now…

That’s ok. I read “Big Nate” also. Offsetting

Also, “Day by Dave.” Gotta stick around for another one

“What, again?!”

— from the short film When FA Met Groundhog Day directed by Al B. Dedd-Zune © 2024 Déjà Nude FilmCo, in coordination with Mortal Knoll-Ledge Media, Skulldust Transmogrifiers, Inc., Hip-Know-Gogic Logic, and Tutankhamun’s Metempsychosis InConvenience Store, Ltd., a TunnelVision / RubeTube Presentation, a subsidiary of Devil’s Tower Rapid Transit and Dante’s Disco Inferno, a division of MementoMori Transmigration, a leisure service of Karma A Go-Go to Go

“The universe demands balance to offset any of the still-hopeful out there, sweating and struggling to lug along any hope tonnage on its free frickin’ ride.”

— Timothy Leary, after an especially difficult Bicycle Day weekend in April, 1969, as quoted in the May, 1970 Psychedelic Deli Magatine article, “Picnic Tongs Awash, Walking Cotton Swabs Gently” by Puddin’ Head Gorsnowzki and Flora Powah, courtesy of Sisyphus’s Albatross Anti-Pressgang

Regarding dieing sooner, etc.: Harrumph! In the immortal words of Jeopardy’s Sam Buttrey, BRING IT …⁉️

As a son of a war hero, young Gaius spent most of his childhood accompanying his father on military campaigns. The boy soon became a favorite of Germanicus’ legionaries. They dressed the future emperor in the little soldier’s outfit, including miniature boots – caligae. Thus, Gaius became known as Caligula – “little boot.” However, although Caligula had a keen interest in military affairs, he was uncomfortable with the moniker, and after assuming the throne, he insisted on the given name he shared with a famous ancestor – Gaius Julius Caesar.

Ha ha ha, oh my! ha ha ha ha.

“Every time I come back to life, I have to be either an IRS phone agent or that one guy at the DMV. On either side of the counter, it doesn’t matter — I know how this turns out, you know what I mean?

I tell you, I don’t get any respect."

— The “Reincarnation Monologues” by Rodney Dangerfield, previously thought lost, from the video, Lost, Abandoned, and Dissuaded: How Some Legendary Routines Came to Be Unseated, Unseeded, and Unsueded, by Chas Burns Documentary Productions, LLC, a shadowy financial shell of Dire Substraits, via Proctor, Gamble & Littany Features, a division of Waffle House Political Missteps, Inc., a division of Don’t Poke the Pear-shaped Bear Corp.

Challenge accepted.

Hold my Grand Marnier.

But if you read Frog Applause, it gives you a better quality of life so there’s that!

I dunno — kind of a glass-half-broken, glass-half-fixed kind of a thing, maybe?

It is written:

And the lame shall be able to do walk-and-talk therapy and paid spokespersoning, and yea, verily, other enterprising product influencing, placements, and hand-wanding, but nay for cheap.

— Book of Tomes, from “Book, Chapter, and Verse,” by Opus Maximus

Can I die in Spain instead? One letter, that’s all I ask.

But, Frog Applause is my reason for living. That, plus, I eat a lot of fish.

The Magic 8 Frog has spoken.

I suspected as much. Actually I suspected the protracted painful death for a long time before I started reading FA.

Well, heck. Might as well not renew my subscription to Iron Maidenform Monthly.

Shoot. Just when I was thinking of going for the free offer for Schandmantel and Gartenschlangen-Zeitung, too.

… and a question from the mailbag:

Dear FA,

What if I just look at the pictures? Do I get a half-life bonus, or what?

Signed,

Curious in Deed

Well, see? The polls haven’t been right since 2015.

No wonder they kicked that guy off the “Love Is” set.