Close to Home by John McPherson for July 23, 2024

Chef Boyardee is turning in his grave.

After leaving his position as head chef at the Plaza Hotel in New York City, Ettore Boiardi opened a restaurant called Il Giardino d’Italia (“The Garden of Italy”) in 19243 at East 9th Street and Woodland Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio. The idea for Chef Boiardi came about when restaurant customers began asking Boiardi for his spaghetti sauce, which he began to distribute in milk bottles. Four years later, in 1928, Boiardi opened a factory and moved production to Milton, Pennsylvania, where he could grow his own tomatoes and mushrooms. He decided to anglicize the name of his product to “Boy-Ar-Dee” to help Americans pronounce his name correctly. The first product to be sold was a “ready-to-heat spaghetti kit” in 1928. The kit included uncooked pasta, tomato sauce, and a container of pre-grated cheese.

The U.S. military commissioned the company during World War II for the production of army rations, requiring the factory to run 24 hours a day. At its peak, the company employed approximately 5,000 workers and produced 250,000 cans per day. After the war ended, Boiardi had to choose between selling the company or laying off everyone he had hired. He sold the company to American Home Foods in 1946 for nearly $6 million, and remained as a spokesman and consultant for the brand until 1978. American Home Foods turned its food division into International Home Foods in 1996. Four years later, International Home Foods was purchased by ConAgra Foods, which continues to produce Chef Boyardee canned pastas bearing Boiardi’s likeness.

Chef Boyardee is one of the only brands to request to be removed from an episode of Seinfeld. In the 1996 episode “The Rye”, Kramer is allowed to operate a Hansom cab for a week, and feeds the horse excess cans of Beefaroni, which causes frequent and foul smelling flatulence. As a result of the request, the name was changed to “Beef-a-reeno”.

Bleeb is all ready to be served.

Mmmmm. 5 chalk lasagna.

The lasagna must not be very hot if she can hold the pan without wearing oven mitts.

An attendee of the classless cooking class. (….or was it clueless??)

John McPherson and Dave Whamond give away more marketing ideas than I can dream up!

I’m gonna be rich!!!!

Have a friend who invited us over for dinner and served homemade lasagna. Unfortunately she “baked” it in the microwave. We both left with bellyaches.

Ick.

Beef and tumsaroni.

Gee! What a relief!

What flavor of Tums would go good with Lasagna?

Now that’s using your noodle.

And at Thanksgiving, to counteract the tryptophan, she marinates the turkey in Redbull.

I suspect it isn’t just her lasagna that irritates his system…

Lasagna is one of the few dishes where I’d choose the vegetarian version. Not because I prefer veggies, but because your average chef will cook the beef until done, put it into the lasagna, and then bake it until it’s dry and overcooked in the oven. The beef should still be partially pink before the lasagna goes into the oven.

Ick. Instead of making the lasagna chalky with Tums, mix in some Prilosec OTC tablets with no flavor. That stuff works better anyway.

Wow, that’s quite a take on the “That’s one spicy meatball” commercial from what, the 60’s?

Sigh. Obviously the Tums should be baked into the cupcakes.

She is cute, but she is either clueless or insane.

I’ll eat it

Garfield will help….

indigestion just like mom used to make