Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for September 18, 2024

There’s Crankshaft! Yay!

“Hey, Mr. C! I hear you just bought some fancy fire-proof gloves!”

Like The Burning itself, this conflagration was a total misfire.

“You’re lucky that you happen to live next to your neighbor Ed Crankshaft”? Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t most people live next to their neighbors? That’s what makes them neighbors. Wouldn’t a simple “You’re lucky that you live next door to Ed Crankshaft” suffice?

For once, Ed is a spectator.

At least we get to see Cranky for one day this week…

Yes, but WHO IS this…“neighbor Ed Crankshaft”? Every time Skip the Dip is introduced, we get his whole dang CV. How about “the child-killing madman arsonist Ed Crankshaft, the Arsonist”? It’s called “I don’t know How to Writing.”

Why does Ed have his sleeves pinned up, like Becky and Skip? No, his hands aren’t in his pockets. No one has pockets that high, and you can SEE the pockets below that. Davis has just given up. He got the script, mumbled “12/29/24” and had his AI scrabble together what it could in the next 4 seconds.

Hey, firefighters! Wake up and smell the gasoline! Then call the cops about arson.

3rd panel the script was edited, the fire fighter says, Hey, Mr. C, long time no see. Where you been hiding?

3rd panel, like ed facial expression, look like he about to say, huh?

The fire is out but the curious case of the burning staircase is only beguns. Who could be the mysterious staircase arsonist or vandal? How many hapless staircases across the country has he or she burns or vandalise? What coulda leads to such vile hatred against hapless staircases? Stay tuned for the next exciting episo…Naah. We is probably never gets to knows who it was. It’s called knowing.

Why is Jeff dressed up? Maybe he is the arsonist?

“Hey. Mr. C. what are YOU doing here?”

“This is my strip.”

“Oh – oh, yeah.”

Who’s the new character?Has anyone seen him before?

“No problem…You’re lucky that you happen to live next to your neighbor, Pam’s bio-dad, Ed Crankshaft.” That would have sounded even better.

So obviously, by that stupid expression on his face, Neighbor Crankshaft is the arsonist that hates banned books.

I may be getting ahead of myself here, but I think that character in the red jacket and cap has the potential to be the lead character in a spin-off strip.

Crank: “I set the fire. I hate books because I’m still illiterate!”

there is no god

Now that the crisis has been averted, time for the book-banning arsonist to feel the burn!

Saved again by Mr.C

For once, Ed isn’t responsible.

All these people and only one smirk?

the fire didnt get rid of the cobwebs gotta hire a powerwasher

So Lillian’s bookstore is the only one to survive the burnings, solely because she lives next door to Ed and the firemen didn’t get lost on the way, like they do for everyone else. All the other bookstores, sorry, you’re out of luck. And nobody ever opens a new one to replace them. Mystery solved of the end of FW!

Yep…..they know him personally!!!!,,,,and seem to be friends!

….and I thought I was never gonna see Crank again!!!!!

I guess Ed has retired from driving the bus. I miss the old antics from Cranky.

Me just gobsmacked that most folks is just no gets this brilliant funniest parody. They is still talks of books banning and burnings when so far there been notheeng of that sort actually even happen here.

It real funny parody and the joke is on the audience. Yups. This been a parody all along. What else but that.

Below is points going by what we has actually see in the weeks since this parody story was beguns. You can goes back and verifies all these for yourself.

1. So much for books that was really never banned anywhere but was only excluded from one school’s syllabus. But them folks acting like it the end of the world and ain’t no single copy of it available anywhere else. LOL!

2. So called book burning in Westview Booksmellers was mostly a mere coincidence and there no shred of evidence that protestors was does it. Skippy ol’ one armed man is say that himself. LOL!

3. There no point in just giving away them books to kids in several various ways possible there itself in Westview but the solution is to sneaks em to this another town away from there and expect students to comes all the way to this another town to gets it. LOL! Classic parody gag!

4. And then this curious case of staircase burning incident of carefully pouring brown gasoline only on a couple of bottom stairs and setting only those on fire so that the rest of building is safe n sounds. LOL! Parody genius!

5. And all this was a build up for today’s gag for Cranky’s firey reputation. What a way to finally gets the classic Crankyshaft firey gag. LOL! It’s called comedyic genius!

Why is the firefighter loading the ladder onto a tilted fire engine? In the next panel, it looks like it’s level?

So ON THE DAY that Ed Crankshaft DOES show up, where’s Where’sCrankshaft?

I know. He’s one of those “never meet your heroes” kind of guys.

Typical.

Cops should be there too as it is a crime scene and there is little humor about this situation sadly……

Umm… WHY did they unload the ladder for a fire that was the bottom 3 steps of the stairs?

OMG, look everybody! It’s Ed! Ed Crankshaft!

Crankshaft makes an appearance….of sorts!

Good thing this is a comic strip. In real-world Ohio, first responder resources such as these firefighters are stretched thin due to DOZENS of bomb threats called in by MAGA terrorists motivated by racist lies promoted by the junior senator of Ohio and his boss the 45th POTUS.

Real life is scarier than whatever you call what Batty creates. And THAT’S scary.

Shouldn’t Ed be wearing one of those ‘HELLO my name is’ badges, so the readers know who he is?

I’m glad to see Ed, but is anyone really surprised to see him show up today? Batty always telegraphs these things.

Batty: Ed shows up at the scene of a fire. The firemen say, “Hi, Ed.” Dur hur hur!

As we all expected, the fire barely damaged Lillian’s bookstore. If the arsonist is this inept, it makes me wonder. If Lillian’s tinderbox wouldn’t burn, what was the Booksmeller constructed out of? Straw? Cardboard? Gas cans?

Action 1 Eyewitless News will show up tomorrow. They interview the formerly illiterate Ed Crankshaft. Ed tells the reporter how glad he is that he learned how to read. Books are great, bla bla bla. He mentions how lucky he is to live next door to a bookstore. He continues to bloviate about how great it is to live next door to Lillian. (Cut the mic! Cut the mic!)

By this point, all the readers will hope for Ed to go away again.

where are the police?

Batyuk takes a day off from his ultra-serious award bait to bring you today’s lame joke sprinkled with a few smirks and knowing glances.

Keep being you, Tom. LoL

Cranky! At last!

The Fire Department has Cranky on speed dial