Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 09, 2024

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers    - Shakespeare

What about struggling health care CEOs? Oh, wait, there aren’t any of those. Never mind.

If he were an airline executive there would be a MUCH longer line of cups for fees.

I hired a struggling lawyer one time to put up some siding. Seemed pretty simple to me, but he was so stupid he even got THAT wrong. No wonder he was failing.

Well, it’s what they say – “Don’t push it!” Obviously a rule this guy needs to learn ..

“Struggling lawyer” might be an oxymoron. In my state, the only lawyers who might be struggling are the public defenders. They’re seriously underpaid.

A penny here, a penny there. What’s not to like.

Does he take Venmo?

‘Off ice’ space available; ‘On Ice’ space unavailable.

The office space seemed like it needed an expansion.

The difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead snake is that there are skid marks in front of the snake!

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. – Steven Wright

“Pardon me?” ~ Hunter Biden

“Will work for food.”

Seems this has been extended to Health Insurance CEOs!

According to the theory of Relativity, time is malleable. Nowhere is this more evident than in the billing method used by lawyers where they can charge more than 24 hours a day.

Truth is US corporate lawyers help to create our laws in ways to pad their pockets. Not only do they rip us off they make life difficult for the rest of us. It is part of their business.

Just wait until psychologists start charging emotional baggage fees.

He’s looking in the wrong place for sympathy, it’s between sh!t and syphilis.

No matter how reviled, lawyers are still a step above Health Insurance executives and Pharmacy managers

A boat full of lawyers just sank – its a start!

Almost as bad as an Air B&B bill.

I once needed a lawyer to mail a letter. $200 for the letter, $5 for “office supplies”, fifty cents for postage.

Struggling lawyers don’t have a clue.

Don’t forget the Fee to fight laws against exorbitant Fees.

Plus standard 30% contingency when we I win.

I rarely watch TV but when I do it seems like half the commercials are for extremely annoying personal injury lawyers. I want to run ‘em down with a steamroller!

“Cup fee.”

You’ll never catch any ambulances just sitting there.

I’m more concerned about the administrative people that were let go, they are the ones struggling

If he’s a struggling lawyer, he must be an oxymoron: honest.

What’s sympathy? This is the internet right ? ;-)

Lawyers aren’t the only hypocrites: what about all the people who see them as life savers when they need them and evil when they don’t.

The newest translation: First, we kill all the packaging engineers.

They have shot more lawyers than CEOs. Only their families miss them. Most of the time.

Are there any lawyers left who check t heir fee money for bloodstained fingerprints before accepting it?