Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 13, 2024

If prayer cured morons, a lot of people would be going to church seven days a week.

The first prayer is fairly good because morons would benefit from being smarter.

Considering how a lot of people are reacting to the CEO getting whacked, I wonder how the cult will react to P2025?

For what it’s worth…

I was having a problem with a certain individual in my life and was praying that the Lord would take care of it and get her out of my hair. I sensed He was saying He would, but then I ventured to ask: “What do I do if you don’t deal with her?” Can you picture how it felt as if I was being looked at with one raised eyebrow and a smirk?

Hey Rat, how does that go? Don’t make fun of a person with the dirt in his eye and pay no attention to the plank in yours!

Don’t mock faith. Faith must be strong and it’s very important to keep it that way. I pray for others… and charge by the hour! :D When you mock their faith I lose business!

Would imprecation be better or worse than this?

If you’re praying for something or other of a political nature you are wasting your time, and doubly so. One, praying might make you feel good, but the best you’re gonna get from prayer. Two, if you recall, you voted for separation of church and state, so your god is legally forbidden to intervene in anything political. I imagine he’s happier for that. Can you imagine how many more prayer screeners he has to put on during an election year?

Kind of in a Catch-22 there, RAT, aren’t ya?! Or would you call that a paradox? You don’t want people to be stupid, but, you punch them, causing them to suffer a brain injury, thus making them MORE STUPID, forcing you to have to punch them again, and round and round we go, where we stop, nobody knows…Dan aka…ps hmmm…

Remind me to never subscribe to Rat’s “religion.”

Rat’s prayer seems somewhat relevant.

So 100% in line with our Be❤️ed Count! God Bless America and God Bless Us, Every One… including the deranges and delusional Liberwhiners. We know who you are. And God Bless Stephan Pastis and his Friends. Esp Rat.

Rationalizing violence. Not funny or insightful. Just lazy.

I wonder what else he prays for.

Refrain from punching the morons. They have AR-15s and now their “president” has been elected. Give them beer, then sit back and watch.

he has 4 years and then he’s gone. so all you shut up and do your part to HELP AMERICA. ENOUGH ALREADY

Humility is not one of Rat’s virtues.

“I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: ‘O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.’ And God granted it.” — Voltaire

I’m watching the left and right go at each other but not sure if I should laugh or cry.

since it doesn’t matter either way, I prefer to pray for Karma

What did goat expect?

Rat sounds like that old testament prophet: “I argued with these parents and cursed them and punched a few of them and knocked them around and pulled out their hair …” Nehemiah 13:25.

Gee, I don’t know. Maybe Rat has a good idea for once.

thought for sue he was gonna push ’im off the cliff!

Great governing concept, “… checks and balances …” when they’re all owned by the top 1%. Just saying.

I miss when pbs had long stories with the comic strips

we got mice praying before GTA 6 lol

and the moronic upcoming President we are about to get. Seems he can’t get any foreign leaders to attend his inauguration. LOL.

We never used to have so many silly arguments over whether the US is a democracy or a republic. The trend seems to have come from a desire of one party to make themselves sound more authentic than the other. It’s funny when you consider that one of the first parties after the nation’s founding was the Democratic Republicans.

Everybody thinks the others are the idiots, and so here we are. Sigh.

The first part is good. Let’s see if Jay can heal the morally lame.

Not what praying for those who wrong you means.

Not heard that one before, what is the harbingers of death?

A friend of mine’s favorite prayer: “Dear Lord, please protect me from Your followers.”