Scary Gary by Mark Buford for December 09, 2024

Raisins, too much sugar.

Prunes usually result in a good explosion. Eggs and beans add to the aroma.

I scatter plain raisins (no sugar added) in my yard near the bird feeders, and I also put a few handfuls near my trail camera, where deer, turkeys, and foxes are likely to find them.

Don’t lose your head over it!

I usually add fresh blueberries to my oatmeal.

911!

This is the funniest Scary Gary in a very long time! I’m still giggling.

Add peas to your oatmeal. Then you will have peas porridge. You can serve it hot or cold

Looks more like a Claymore you ask me.

Nasty, Leopold.

Well, the Oatmeal is no longer lumpy…

Owen doesn’t understand that presentation is an important part of fine dining.

Add Craisins or some sweet cereal, like cocoa puffs.

I’d rather the grenade. Raisins are evil.

Yeah but raisins can give you gas

Omg! This can’t be the end……Gary? Where are you?

Raisins? More like raisin the dead. Didn’t Gary say he wanted to lose weight? He wasn’t using his head anyway.

I like to mash up a very ripe banana, add some diced apple, maple syrup and a little brown sugar, a dash of vanilla, cinnamon and some butter. Yum!

Add pop-rocks

Once you’ve removed the head you will want to suff a whole clove of garlic in the mouth. Next collect the body and with the head wedged between the knees, bury it at any convenient crossroad. Next we’ll tell you how borax can help with an ant infestation.

What a selective grenade. Gary’s head is gone, but the rest of his body is remarkably intact. Neither the table or the adjacent wall show any damage.

A mine would work better than a grenade.