Close to Home by John McPherson for December 25, 2024

Now THAT is a crappy gift!

Yakkity yak…

Dressed like that, Mom ought to be wearing a robe around her kids.

It’s Christmas Day, there’s no time to be funny, so here’s Bleeb’s Christmas poem from the year 2020.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and Bleeb’s on the beat, not skulkin’ ‘round your legs, or down at your feet.

He’s up north with Ol’ Santa, helping him pack, and he’s taking a break for his “favorite snack”…

(…and in case you was wonderin’… it’s a Coke and Jack!)

Saint Nick’s made his plan, and it unfurls, it’s to deliver great gifts for good boys and girls.

As the elves load his sleigh, Saint Nick takes a snooze, while Bleeb checks the house, still lookin’ for booze.

A nap is required, for a long Christmas flight, if Santa is rested, good kids will delight.

As Santa naps, Bleeb gets a buzz on, while Santa dreams of out-racing Ol’ Amazon.

(… take that Bezos)

The sleigh is all ready, Mrs. Claus wakes up Santa, to start his long trek with a layover in Atlanta! (‘cause it’s a hub!)

For some reason there seems, to be a small quandary, Bleeb is not ready… he’s asleep on their laundry.

Santa whistles for Bleeb to get up and get going, Bleeb springs to his feet with a powerful “BOING!”

Santa shouts: “C’mon Bleeb, don’t make us late, we have to get flying and the reindeer won’t wait!”

“Now get up on ol’ Rudolph and let us take flight, I have to be done with this in one night”.

So away they all flew, in just a blink, and Saint Nick was heard yelling: “WHAT THE HECK IS THAT STINK… HAVE YOU BEEN IMBIBING IN A WHOLE BUNCH OF DRINK?!!

Off in the distance, but clean out of sight, Bleeb’s heard exclaiming:

“I DON’T THINK IT’S ME!” (BURRRRRRRRRP)

“Okay… maybe you’re right!“

Merry Christmas to all, … and my annual apologies to McPherson and Bleeb. ㋡

— Dobie

Seems like Bleeb is trying to chomp that candy cane.

Since Borimba seems to be a fictitious place, it’s possible the Mom is pranking the kids. “Fresh yak dung” is top notch humor. Plus scantily clad Mom to boost the ratings. It’s 3D Chess here and The Tooninator is killing it.

Bleeb, what are you doing over there?

Looks like Bleeb’s Christmas gift is on the top of the tree.

When the Borimbans opened their present their reaction was “hey, this dung isn’t fresh”.

Even better than the “Human Fund”.

At least she didn’t have it delivered to them here.

Buncha sh@t.

Love It!!!

That reminds me of my favorite U2 album, “Yak Dung Baby”.

Awww, how thoughtful, just what the kids wanted too. (Nope, not, no way, uh-uh, nada, zilch.)

Possibly an anthropology student.

How…christmaslike

As possibly the only yak aficionado here (I even have a small hand-blown glass yak): that’s a very interesting gift that I’m sure is not appreciated.

Canned moose meat is certainly no bargain these days.

Um, THAT would be a good gift for an altruism minded adult, not a child.

What a shi++y gift to give a kid.

Just another silly American attempt at humor. For years now we have been giving through World Vision at Christmas Time to support those who truly can use the assistance to provide for themselves and their children.

I’m sure that will fill them with a sense of pride.

I love that idea!

What a crappy gift!

And you don’t even have to shovel it!

The origin of matricide

They say it’s the thought that counts. However, in this case, I don’t think must thought went into the gift.