That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 27, 2025

(Everyone who looked at this painting probably thought of a variation of the same punchline Steve used in his caption. It won’t be nearly as funny, but I’ll try to find something to contribute.)

/// As three men across Purgstall traversed,

they were seized by a powerful thirst.

One man stands as he sips,

his hat’s brim to his lips.

Shuns canteens if another drank first.

You get three guesses which one of these guys died of dehydration.

This Ain’t no 10 gallon hat, I’ll tell you that.

Don’t drink too much of that water. There isn’t a toilet for miles!

The rim of his hat was replete/

With some sort of spirochete/

Which fiercely attacked/

His intestinal tract:/

He spread poop from Croatia to Crete..

Is that an elk up stream relieving it self?

Is it just me, or does anyone else think the guy with the pipe looks a lot like Edgar Allan Poe?

The hiking shorts Gunther has chosen

Is leather garb known as Lederhosen

The others mocked his clothing choice

They said it suited only scouting boys

And in the heights his knees would be frozen

.

Gunther calmly smoked and watched as they

Oft paused to quench their thirst that day

The sun beat down and made them sweat

They lost moisture and streams they met

Had strong iron taste to their great dismay

.

You’d think the pants that Gunther wore

Would be too hot but they did store

His sweat and urinary secretion

Then processed it to restore depletion

Caused through breath and exposed pore

.

The painting here of three men’s climb

Was tough to comment on through rhyme

Foolish were they all in their excursion

Why Swoboda painted this late diversion

Puzzles me why on it I wasted time

Ripped jeans—the fashion saga begins.

New product testing; combination hat and bird call.

Ripped jeans, vaping, and drinking artisan spring water….My lord Jenkins! We’ve stumbled unto a feral hipster colony.

…moments later the inattentive explorers were eaten by the giant owl who’s lair they wandered into.

That day Lewis and Clark discovered Jim Beam and his still.

Earliest recorded history of government road workers: One actually working, one sitting and watching, and one trying to figure out his hat.

Three hikers and only one canteen? The canteen was always near the head of a scout’s list of supplies for any extended hike.

His best painting yet, Rudolph did it on a bet, He did it to seek fame, But not quite the same, As his grandson the New York Met.

Getting ready for the yodeling contest?

While Rolf added water to the whiskey in his canteen, and Franz toked hash from his pipe, Fritz, who was always a bit merkwürdig, smoked his hat.

1833: Ralph captures the first flying saucer to visit Earth.

Nothing like a pipeful of tobacco to quench your thirst.

“that aint spring water comin outta that there pipe,it be the outhouse overflow!”

The suspense is mountain.

He’s wondering what that white stuff is on his hat. He really shouldn’t be tasting it to find out.

Austrian Hikers Resting and Gathering Spring Water in the Purgstall Mountains: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Undated paintings" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Brave search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Rast, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly B4 paper size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3450 (January 26, 2025) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you crop what’s after .png from the URL). I’ve added a comment there pointing to the sparse info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, first work by him used here.

Welp…! At least this proves that he’s a man of his word.

One of the lesser moments in phallic symbolism, perhaps, but has anyone else noticed that the walking stick is standing proud and erect all on its own?

I can’t cast the thought into rhyme, but the three figures seem quite disproportionate. Were Canteen Boy to stand up, he would tower above the other two.