Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for December 13, 2024

I could be wrong, but I think that’s Lillian in the far background of Panel Three, ready to slither her way out the fire door as she thinks to herself, “Suffering Sappho, why did I ever mention to him about the school needing a band concert director?”

There’s not one smiling face in that audience…

Look at the stern, cross-armed security guard stopping any exit in P3! These people aren’t at a concert—Dingle is holding them as hostages! “BARLOW…You shall all learn about…CLAUDE BARLOW AH-HAHAHA! Isn’t that right—ED?!” Ed, holding flamethrower: “Learn or BURN, jerks!” Audience: “Oh, it’s the guy who kinda burned a stair.” (Everyone leaves; nothing at all happens; it’s Crankshaft)

Most people would think “I died and went to Hell.” Here it would be “If I died I’d get out of this Hell.”

This is funny because Dinkless is the only person in the entire auditorium who doesn’t realize the band would have been better off with the industrial arts teacher. What a maroon.

Being on friday the 13th, what will happen to make this interesting.

And the audience hasn’t walked out yet.

Thank heaven only one more day of this.

Why not give us that famous Christmas carol which celebrates the removal of the Elevated Railway from Sixth Avenue? It’s the one that Manhattanites sang in despair and gloom: “No El.”

Must be that part of the country where merry and Mary sound the same.

‘Beth’?

in that audience, there’s only ONE person smiling… probably because she’s sitting on a vibrating pad…

Play it! Play it loud!

Billsplut? You are getting “nuttin for Christmas” but a lump of coal. Scrooge was a jolly old man compared to you. HUMBUG!! lol

Sad to see the state of this comic…

She’s the cook! Beth LeHam

Meanwhile down at Dale Evans…

Ed: “What do you think about all these Westview people hanging around Centerville? Don’t they have anything to do over there? Hey George you get that new mailbox up yet?”

As I have been hitting random for the last several weeks rather than put myself through the pain, a question came to me today. What happened to Ed’s restaurant buddies? Seem to be gone and forgotten. Where this idiot should be.

…..hoping to at lest see a red hat in the crowd!!!!!

This is where Crankshaft sitting in the back row ups and leaves…..

sad part is there’s no soundtrack

… for a modest donation, the purchase of a Band Turkey, we will rent you a set of noise cancelling headphones.

With the purchase of two Band Turkeys, we will broadcast to your headphones the Nutcracker Suite played by a famous East Coast group.

“Merry”? Wasn’t he a hobbit, most famous for the line “this, me lads, is a pint!”?

Huh?

Everybody in that audience has indigestion

A Harry Dinkle Christmas Story. A story demanded by absolutely no one. Ever.

Why, TB? Why?

To paraphrase that drag queen show “Sashay and walk away.”

Think I’d rather watch “Ted and Carol, Bob and Alice>” As bad as that movie is reputed to be, it has to beat a holiday song named for four women, played by a high school orchestra.

At this point, I fear Dinkle will still be shooting off these miserable one-liners all next week.

Have pity, Batyuk, it’s the holiday season.

Lame-O.

Beth?