For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for January 22, 2019

Oh, John. If that discussion had not been in bed, you would have had something harder than a pillow smashing in your head. Also, talking about how you have thought about “running off with someone else at some time or other” is exactly the wrong thing to say to your wife. The only thing worse would be if John had said, “Well, when I cheated it was because….”

Of course if this comic strip mirrored real life she would have kicked him to the curb a long time ago

Lynn’s lifelong obsession with infidelity makes SO many strips like this now totally uncomfortable now that we know Rod dumped her for another woman. Back in the day, alot of this was “LOL John put his foot in it AGAIN/Elly takes things too seriously and has a hair-trigger temper!”.

Lynn has said, at least, that she exaggerates stuff for comic intent- John is way more sass-talking and teasing in the comic than Rod was in real life, largely because it’s funnier that way. Lynn’s been honest about her anger in the past (including being a little abusive to her son when he was small), but even she was probably not the cackling maniac Elly’s often depicted as being.

There is nothing wrong in THINKING or imagining. It is important how we ACT afterward. If my hormones are activated by my companion they will likely be activated by someone else, and viceversa. It’s the good old BRAIN that should lead the orchestra, but what the first cello thinks it’s not the director’s business. Being a faithful, respectful and caring spouse doesn’t mean total decerebration.

You can ‘think’ about anything you want, for now. As an added safety measure, you might be better off keeping your thoughts to yourself.

John, be smart! The only right answer is, “I have no idea, Elly. But you don’t have to worry about ME. I adore you and I find you beautiful and sexy!” That would quell Elly’s anxieties that if her pretty FRIEND could be cheated on, maybe it could happen to her, too!

Open mouth, insert foot…

Women are going to look at other men, also. The thing to remember is ‘look but don’t touch’.

Sadly Women jump to conclusion with no merit. Just like the mess this country is in, it’s all based on she said – she said (in this instance). Not based on any facts, just pure emotion. On Furlough in VA

I think Elly was looking for reassurance, John.

WRONG ANSWER!!, John.

Lynn’s Notes:

Between my two marriages, I dated a psychiatrist. He told me that the worst time to have a serious discussion was after midnight–that after 12:00am, we go into a sort of “twilight zone” where common sense and rationale ceases to exist. “Never,” he told me, “get into an argument after midnight!” Mark and I argued many times…sometimes after midnight, and he was right. We’d go round and round in the twilight zone and nobody “won.” I’ll carry that lesson for a lifetime!

I’m wondering why he’s still in the bed and not on the floor!

what does it mean to point at the ceiling?

Interesting how eventually Lynn Johnston’s marriage ended, with some believing the strip played a part in it. If so she is not alone. I wonder if she ever met Hank Ketcham? For those of you who don’t know, he wrote the strip Dennis the Menace. He was inspired to do so partly because of his real-life elder son, who was named Dennis. One day when Dennis was four he was making a mess and his mother told her husband “Your son is a menace!” The rest, as they say, is history.

In actuality, Dennis Ketcham, the boy whom that strip was based on, did not have the carefree storybook life as depicted in the comic strip. His mother (Hank Ketcham’s first wife) died when he was young, and it caused a rift in the relationship with his father. Dennis Ketcham grew up and joined the US Marine Corps, then fought in the Vietnam War. Like his father, he too had been married more than once, albeit with a less financially rewarding life. Dennis Ketcham drifted from one menial job to another and struggled to “fit in” with civilian society, which was far less accommodating to Vietnam veterans than they were to World War II veterans decades earlier. Hank Ketcham once got asked about this and he simply said “I usually hear from Dennis once a year. Most of our conversations are about him needing money.” The elder Ketcham said the rift was unfortunate but “it just happens in some families”.

“As a man thinketh, so is he.” With that sentiment, I do not believe that “everyone” has thought about cheating at one time or another. I know I haven’t. Yes, there are people you may be attracted to, that’s natural, but I would never entertain the idea of what it would be like with that person. If you entertain those thoughts long enough, eventually they will be acted upon, so its best to not even think about cheating on your spouse.

Never truly thought about cheating on my wife. It would harm the woman I loved and myself, as well as the other woman involved. Lose, lose, lose.

“I never had sex with that woman.”

I think she should have hugged him for drawing the line.

John only spoke the truth – many of us do think that when we are in an argument, angry at each other, etc. Then some of us don’t cross the line. We just fume, chew on the anger, think things out, go talk to our other half and resolve. Then kiss and make up.

Men think about running off with someone as they need “someone”. Women think about running off, period. Don’t need someone waiting in the wings.

Find yourself a man or women with whom you can lower your walls all the way down. It is absolutely necessary to have a discussion about cheating. BUT also remember there is a proper time and place for everything. Right now El is looking for reassurance, give it to her. Have the discussion later.

RE theologians, If a man looks at a woman with desire, he has committed adultery. But, that’s the way the male brain is wired.

But elsewhere, it is stated that wishing someone well is not sufficient – you must do something positive to help him.

So, to be fair, shouldn’t a man do something positive before being guilty of adultery – like maybe at least “May I buy you a drink?”

If you don’t want to know the answer, then don’t ask.

You’ve got to know when to shut up, man.

Dang it all. If John hadn’t gone a bit too far in the discussion we wouldn’t have had the punch line. How can we expect cartoon characters to behave perfectly and still be able to laugh at their mistakes?

Besides, it gave his wife a good excuse to bean him with a pillow. Bet if felt good for her to have an excuse to blow off some steam that way.

John should have stopped at “I don’t know…”.

I would say that a man may cheat, because they are feeling badly about themselves, and need the “boost” that attracting someone new, can bring them.

The key to a successful relationship is the ten things you DON"T say each day.

Lol, some discussions you just can’t be too honest with it

I’m pretty sure this is a real conversation that Lynn had with her husband. Which is another reason they split.